


It Started with Pizza

by kjp815



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Love, Mutual Pining, POV Second Person, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-01-13 17:11:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21184130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjp815/pseuds/kjp815
Summary: Beatrice's day wasn't going well. With the helicarriers having crashed, causing traffic to be a nightmare, being late for work, yelled at by her boss and ready to hit her head against a brick wall. Now it seems some guy with a metal arm has broken into the store and somehow this led to her offering him pizza... (Bucky/OC) Set after CATWS.





	1. Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> I've already written this fic on FF.net but will be uploading each chapter daily on here

** Chapter 1 - Pizza **

Beatrice was beginning to feel the weight of her day crush down on her.

The day hadn't started well, with her phone running out of battery causing her phone to die and her alarm to not alert her, meaning she was late to wake up. This resulted in her having to miss breakfast, which she knew would leave her feeling hungry for the rest of the day. Her quick rush led her to leave her cell phone on her bedside table where it would remain charging for the rest of the day.

Her day only worsened during her journey to work, where she was even later. Yesterday's fall of the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarriers resulted in an enormous queue of traffic from her apartment to work She knew she was already risking getting to work late when she left, and after sitting in traffic for the past half an hour she was sure if she had walked to work she would have arrived quicker.

In all honesty, she was surprised her car hadn't broken down yet. That would royally screw up her day.

Finally, she rushed into the clothing store. Her heels dragging behind her as she hastily pinned on her name badge, pricking herself in the finger. Barely passed the threshold and into the lovely air continued space, her boss took hold of her arm.

"Where have you been?" He questioned, crossing his arms sternly. "It's almost been an hour since you should have clocked in."

"The traffic-"

"I understand the traffic's bad at the moment, but you could have at least called," he shook his head as if telling a child off for having stolen from a cookie jar. Bea shrugged her shoulders, defeated. If only she had taken her phone.

"I accidentally left my phone at-,"

"_Excuse after excuse_. If this continues we may start evaluating your worth to this company. Consider this warning." her boss finished and stalked off, probably to go kick some puppies.

It wasn't as if they were busy! The helicarriers falling out of the sky might have had an impact on people's shopping plans. Sulking over to the stock floor, she grabbed a load of jeans and began folding them. Yet another day in paradise.

She didn't think it was fair how her boss had spoken to her. Yes, she _had_ been late this morning, but it was rare when Bea didn't turn up on time. She thought a literal attack on the city might have given her some leeway. Overall her working performance was pretty good. She got the job done with only mild complaining. She had never had a single customer complain about her and… _she was damn good at folding those jeans._

The rest of her day carried on as normal. Although her normal still_ sucked_. She had five customers in total, asking her to go up to the stock room to check if they had the same leather jacket. _Five times._ The first time she actually checked. The next three times the customers insisted (despite telling each of them they didn't have the leather jacket in stock), so she pretended to have a look but instead spent a minute or so having a conversation with the cleaner. The final time a customer asked she went straight up to the restroom and gave herself a five-minute break.

When closing time came Bea was about ready to grab her bag and run when her boss told her it was her turn to stay behind and close up. Mumbling a complaint under her breath she stayed behind waiting for the last customers to leave and received a warning from her boss telling her not to be late next time. Then she was left alone.

It always felt so big when alone in the store. When customers were busy bustling about, Beatrice hardly noticed the sheer size of it.

Part of her was kind of glad her boss had set her up to closing the store. There was a computer in the office, and her laptop at home had seized working. She decided she would stay a little longer. No one would know. She had been meaning to catch up on the news of what had happened with S.H.I.E.L.D.. She had heard that name countless times in the last twenty-four hours but didn't understand what the hell had happened other than the fact that three helicarriers had come crashing down on the city. Luckily, Bea lived far enough away as not to be caught in the destruction but close enough to feel the effects of the events.

She ordered pizza whilst she waited and began doing some research into what had happened yesterday.

It seemed people were suggesting it had been a terrorist attack, but Bea delved deeper into the information at hand and discovered S.H.I.E.L.D. _had_ been a government-run intelligence agency which had been formed after World War II.

She didn't really understand what had happened, only there was a certain attention focused on a guy with a metal arm who had escaped the wreckage and was now a wanted person. Apparently he was dangerous and was still in Washington DC somewhere.

Her pizza came, which momentarily paused her research. When she came back she began to shut down the computer and turn off the store lights, beginning to feel the weight of the day drag her down.

Deciding she would eat her pizza on the way home, Bea grabbed her handbag, panicking slightly when she couldn't find her phone before remembering she had left it at home, and readied herself to leave when there was a sudden clank from the main store.

Bea froze. One hand holding tightly to the pizza, the other clutched onto her handbag. In her head, she ran through all the possible things that could have created that noise in a completely empty store but came up with no possible solution, other than the fact she was no longer alone.

Deciding pizza was not going to help her in this situation she perched it back onto the desk and instead picked up the closest thing to her: _a stapler_.

The shuffling continued and Bea was almost certain she was not alone anymore. She carefully approached the shop floor entrance and turned to face the noise, her heart thumping in her chest.

It was in the men's section she saw him.

His back was turned to her, she could see that much. She squinted her eyes to try and see him clearer but the darkened room made it nearly impossible.

She tried to speak out to him but found her mouth had been closed shut in fear. All she managed was a small squeak, which caused her to instantly shove a hand over her mouth as soon as the high pitched sound echoed through the empty room.

"Shit," Bea managed as the man dropped the clothing and jumped around to face her. instinctively ducking behind a coat hanger, she looked at him through the rack, which had no clothes on it and provided no cover what so ever. "I know you're there so just… drop the jeans."

She could see the man just staring at her, frozen in place, although she doubted it was because of fear. Now that he had turned to her she could see his face clearer. He had shoulder-length brown hair and darkened features which suited him well. Beatrice wasn't sure if she was the cause for his fallen expression or if it was his natural face.

When the man made no attempt to move, Bea slowly moved from behind the rack and made sure to show the stapler clearly. His eyes traveled to it for a second before frowning and looking back at her.

"Are you just stealing or are you planning on killing me?" Bea asked uncertainly, half-joking. The mysterious man didn't look like he was about to jump at her, he was only looking at jeans. Although she half wondered why he bothered to steal from a place like this. He could have aimed for higher standard clothing if he _was_ going to steal. Nothing like this ever happened in this clothing store. "How did you even get in here? The alarm didn't go off or anything- _oh._"

The man had swayed a little and in doing so the tint of his left arm reflected back a silver metal back at Bea.

"Shit," Bea uttered. "Shit. You're the guy-," she pointed wildly behind her shoulder at the computer which had now fully shut off. "_Are you the guy?"_ She doubted there were many metal men but she didn't want to jump to conclusions. "Shit, you _are_ the guy. How many other metal armed people are there in Washington? Probably not many. Shit."

The man held out a hand as if to stop her, but Bea was now pacing in panic.

"I am going to die. I am going to die on the shop floor of a clothing store, holding a fucking stapler. Oh my god." Her fingers gripped the stapler tighter, feeling her heart beating out of control. If this man didn't kill her, a heart attack surely would. The metal armed assassin looked around wildly, probably looking for something to kill her with, although she was sure a punch to the head with that metal arm would probably do just the trick. "Of all the bloody ways to die this is how I end. This is so typical."

Distantly, she heard the man utter quietly, "I'm not going to hurt you," but she brushed past it, focusing on what was happening before her.

Now she really wished she had done her research on the S.H.I.E.L.D. incident, seeing as the guy who had caused it was standing right in front of her.

A metal armed assassin was right in front of her.

Who was wet.

She didn't know why this particular small detail caught her attention, but she noticed the way the man's clothes stuck to him. His hair didn't look wet, however, as if it had been hours since he had had contact with water, but his clothes had dried terribly.

It all clicked in Bea's mind. The crashing helicarriers had fallen on top of the water. Maybe he just wanted some dry clothes.

Bea bit her lip, trying to think clearly when the man spoke.

"Sorry, I'll leave. I didn't think anyone was in- the lights were off and I needed…" He gestured to the jeans he was still holding that he instantly turned and put back. Bea, still a little wary, narrowed her eyes trying to assess the situation, but the blinding knowledge that the assassin from the cause of destruction in Washington was standing right before her was sort of distracting.

"You needed clothes?" Bea managed to choke out, pulling herself from going into complete shock. "Um, okay." If this was the only way to get her out of this situation, she was going to take it. She began to walk towards the jeans table to help this _customer,_ when the man jumped backwards, almost as if he was fearful of _her_. She ignored it for the most part and picked up the jeans or the table. "Okay." She took a deep breath, steadying herself. The adrenaline pumping through her was making her shake

"What size are you? 'Cause these ones will be way too big for you." She reached over to take the ones he was clutching way too tightly. He flinched at the movement but handed them to her anyway. A million questions ran through Bea's mind, but she knew she couldn't just outright ask _'why did you just flinch_?', that would be rude.

"I don't know," he answered uncertainly, "I'm not sure. They used to just give me clothes…" he trailed off.

"They?" Bea raised an eyebrow knowing she was walking into dangerous territory. A voice screamed at her in her head to just give him the clothes he needed and then he would leave without slitting her throat.

"It doesn't matter," he replied.

This made Bea's job a lot more difficult. She turned to look at him and looked him up and down, trying to see what clothing size he would be. Something bothered her though. His clothes just screamed assassin at her. She wasn't sure if it was the combat boots, the complete blackness of his clothing, the clasps around his middle, which was where Bea supposed the guns were meant to be held, and to top it off, a metal arm. Bea decided then that she would find him clothes that made him look less… _killer like_.

She searched through the pile of jeans and found one that looked like it would fit him. "Here." She held it out to him. Slowly he took it, looking at it warily as if it was about to explode. Again, she ignored it and moved past him to the t-shirt section and found a plaid shirt that looked relatively normal. She came back to him and gave it to him.

"Do you want to try them on? See if they fit? 'Cause I have no idea if they do or not. There's a fitting room over there."

"No," he replied quickly, "I'll trust your judgment."

"Okay," Beatrice nodded, not really sure what to do now. Her heart rate seemed to have slowed down now that she had realized she wasn't going to die. Although she was probably going to get fired, considering she was giving clothes away for free. _What was she doing?_ "Is there anything else you need?"

He held up what was already in his hands. "Do you have any gloves?"

Bea peeked at his left hand which he had slyly put under the shirt she had given him. She suspected he wanted to hide it from her view. Maybe he really didn't want to hurt her. Right now she had a hard time believing this was the man that was being plastered over the news with a high alert telling civilians to avoid him. From what she could see, the man before her simply looked afraid.

"Yes we do," she gulped. "I'll be back."

She was quick to run downstairs and pick up a pair of black gloves. It was the only pair they had considering it was the summer months and gloves weren't really in the season fashion right now.

When she got back upstairs she saw him looking at a jacket, running a hand over it.

"You can have it if you want."

He looked away from the jacket and at her, blinking as if in shock, "Why are you helping me?"

Bea was caught unawares and realized she had no idea how to answer the question.

She still couldn't get over the idea that an assassin was standing before her, _with a metal arm._ But she was helping him. She couldn't explain why, other than the fact that she, one: thought it was probably the best way to get out of this situation without dying and two: she _wanted_ to help him.

"I just thought helping you might keep me alive so…" She picked up the gloves and passed it to him.

"I won't hurt you." He repeated his words from earlier. Bea gulped, hating herself for believing the words spilling from his mouth. He had made no move on her that would be considered violent; he had simply come into the store for a fresh set of clothes.

How could she think he would harm her for that?

He took the gloves from her and shoved them instantly on. Bea was thankful he had done so, it was easier to pretend he was _normal_.

"Do you want some pizza?" The words spilled from her mouth before she realized she had said them, and before she could take them back, he replied.

"I've never had that before."

Her shoulders slumped. How tragic had this man's life been that he had never experienced the taste of pizza? Trying to act nonchalant about it, she gestured to where her pizza was still perched upon the desk.

"It's the best thing in the world." Bea tried to smile in this kind of serious situation. "It might have gone cold now, but cold pizza is still amazing."

He looked over at the store's exit as if debating whether to stay or leave. Bea was split between wanting him to get the hell out so she could actually breathe again and genuinely wanting him to stay. Curiosity in this man overpowered her, as she wondered _how_ _he_ was a mass murderer.

Finally, after an eternity, he turned to face her and nodded. She doubted he had eaten in a while, and hunger was overpowering him.

She led him into the room and flipped open the box of pizza, nabbing a slice for herself. "Take as much as you want," she said, plopping herself back down on the desk chair. She was worried about how relaxed she was being. "I'm Beatrice by the way. Bea for short."

"Bea," he repeated, testing the name out on his tongue. He nodded once before making his way over to the pizza. The next time Bea looked up he had delved deep into the pizza, eating each slice in two or three mouthfuls. "This is good."

"Told you." Bea chuckled finishing off her own first slice. She dusted her hands off before reaching over for another. There were only two left. "So you know my name, what's yours?" Bea knew she might as well willingly sign her own death certificate. But if she was going to die tonight she was going to die eating pizza and learning maybe a few secrets about this mystery man.

He looked uncertain and frowned. "I-I'm not sure."

"You don't know your own name!" her eyebrows rose to the roof, "How?"

"Bucky," he said, but he sounded unsure even of himself. He looked away from her and down at the pizza in his hand. "That's what he called me. Bucky. It sounded right."

Bea was beginning to feel there was much more to this Bucky. It seemed he couldn't remember anything. Not even his own name. Bea frowned, the sudden urge to hug him befell her but she resisted it. She needed to remember this _was_ an assassin.

"Did you bump your head during the helicarriers crash or something?"

"No." He looked down at his pizza in confusion before plopping it back down in the pizza box, uneaten. "I should go. I shouldn't be here." He jumped up from where he was sitting and Bea found herself following him.

She was confused just as much as him, she should be relieved he was leaving.

Bucky picked up the clothes Bea had gone to get him before and tucked them under his arm. "I don't have anything to pay you with."

Bea waved it off. "It's on me. I suppose I should just be grateful I still have my neck in one piece-"

"I told you I wouldn't hurt you." He sounded upset she had brought it up again and Bea left it be. As surprising as it was, he really did have no intention of harming her.

"You can come back!" Bea called after him, despite saying it loudly, the echo if it rebounded in her skull and she was left to think 'why the hell would I say that!'

In a jutted motion, he spun around to face her, eyes narrowing.

"You're not scared of me?"

Shrugging she said, "Well, as far as being an assassin goes you seem like one of the nice ones." Surprisingly, this caused a smile out of him. A small one at that, but there was a definite twitch in his lips that curved upwards. With a sense of pride at having been the cause of his smile, Bea finished, "I'll get some pizza again or maybe Chinese next time."

Internally, Bea was smacking herself for being so stupid but she couldn't stop herself from hoping that he _did_ come back. She wanted to find out more.

"I don't know."

Bea shrugged "Well, I'm here if you ever want to."

With that, he nodded and turned towards the exit. There was no sound of the door opening or closing. There wasn't even any evidence that Bucky had been there in the first place. It was just as quiet and unsettling as it was before.

Bea returned to her desk, packed up what was left of the pizza and left the store. The realization she had just invited an assassin to her workplace again dawned on her. She was an idiot.


	2. Chinese

** Chapter 2: Chinese **

Bea made sure to take the evening shift from then on out, not wanting anyone else to accidentally bump into the Winter Soldier himself. That would be an awkward situation.

Dedicating a few hours per night to do some research on him. It had become an obsession. The lost man who had come to visit her. It almost felt like a dream now. she would stay behind work for an hour or two, order takeaway (which probably wasn't healthy) and research the events that had occurred with S.H.I.E.L.D. and another organization called Hydra. It was unsettling to think that all of this had happened right under citizens' noses without them knowing it. All the secrets they had been hiding, all the lies and it was now open to everyone's eyes.

It turned out the metal armed assassin had been brainwashed for the past seventy years and was turned from Captain America's former best friend into what he was known as now; The Winter Soldier. His actions from the day before were beginning to make a lot more sense now.

It was surreal to think that she had met Captain America's former friend.

"Stranger things have happened," Bea muttered to herself. It was the fifth day that she had stayed behind to take the late shift. The more research she did into the Winter Soldier the more she wanted to help him and wished he would come back. Maybe he would need more clothes soon.

She didn't know why she kept hoping he would come back. She didn't expect him to either. She was a nobody in comparison to him and although she wouldn't necessarily call him a superhero - with all the bad things he'd done - he definitely had the capability of being one.

She wasn't worth his time.

But she still waited for him, hoping he would come.

On the sixth day, Bea ordered a Chinese again (she was most definitely going to die of a heart attack any day now), although she did it from a different Chinese store to avoid the look of judgment when the deliverer realized he was delivering to the same person two nights in a row.

It was chilly today and it was wired so that when the store lights turned off the heaters did too and she was beginning to wish she had worn more layers as the chill sank through her thin vest. She shuffled in her seat, ready to set herself up for another two hours of research, using a jacket she had found on one of the hangers and wrapping it around her. She told herself it was purely for comfort and she wasn't stealing the jacket, she would put it right back before she left. She also knew if any more clothes mysteriously went missing fingers would point right back to her, seeing as she made sure she was the last one in the store every night. It would look suspicious.

A lot of the Winter Soldier documents were written in German or Russian, so a lot of the time she used Google Translate to understand what was being written and anyway, half of it was scientific crap that she couldn't even begin to understand-

_Clank._

Bea jumped from her seat, completely unaware of her surroundings. In her jump, her elbow jolted, knocking over the coke can she had brought with her Chinese, causing it to crash onto the floor in a puddle.

"Shit," Bea groaned, getting up from her seat. Flinching away to avoid the ever-growing puddle, she reached for her box of tissues when the only light from the hallway was suddenly blocked. Blinking rapidly to try and see what had caused the disruption, she saw the glint of a metal arm.

Her whole body shook, the tissue box slipping from her hands, "Jesus, you scared me. Knock next time," she said, only just noticing the red star painted onto his shoulder.

His eyes were wide.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized sincerely, slowly moving closer as if getting ready to move back at the first sign of Bea flinching. But she didn't. By now she knew he wouldn't hurt her. "I needed some more clothes...," with his metal arm he gestured to his right arm where there was a slash in the plaid shirt that Bea had given him. "I didn't know where else to go."

Asking no questions, Bea nodded and got up, making her way over to the men's section. She knew she couldn't keep giving clothes away for free like this. It wouldn't be long before the store noticed and she was given the blame. But, she couldn't turn her eye away from him. Looking at him now his condition seemed to have worsened. The dark circles under his eyes suggested to her he hadn't slept in days. Did he even have anywhere to sleep? Perhaps she'd ask him.

She grabbed a few pairs of shirts this time; a jumper to help him with the cold, another plaid shirt, a regular plain one, a few new jackets and a pair of trainers. It was tempting to go into their superhero section and pick out Captain America shirt, but she thought he probably wouldn't appreciate that.

She came back with a whole bundle in her arm. "Is that enough?"

He looked down at the pile, uncertain. "This is too much. I have nothing to pay with."

She shrugged it off. "It's on me." She had some savings she could use. The clothing in this store was quite cheap so that was a bonus. She'd just have to make sure to put the money in the till today before she left, otherwise someone might catch her. _Technically, _then it wouldn't be stealing.

He still looked unsure about taking the clothing so Bea forced it on him, dumping the clothes onto his metal arm.

"It's fine, honestly," she assured him, making her way back over to the desk. "I got Chinese if you want some." He didn't look like he had eaten very well either, which probably contributed to the dark circles under his eyes. From then on, she made it her personal mission to make him eat something tonight. "I brought enough for five," Bea encouraged, holding out a pot of chicken chow mein.

Finally, he accepted it, holding the tub with his metal fist and taking the fork Bea offered him with the other. However, he didn't take a bite but continued to stare at his food.

"Is it alright?" Bea frowned, looking over the desk to see if there was anything that would be preventing him from eating it. "Do you not like Chinese? I can order something else if you like."

"No," he replied quickly. "It's just…" he trailed off.

Bea didn't understand but decided to tuck into her own meal which was calling out to her. It was still hot which was pretty impressive considering the temperature in the store.

When the fork made connection with her own lips, she saw Bucky visibly relax. That was when she realized.

A complete stranger had just offered him food, a man who had been under constant abuse for the last seventy years and was never offered anything. He didn't trust her, and that was okay. She expected that but she didn't anticipate him thinking she had poisoned his food.

"It's not poisoned you know," she told him, not meaning to snap. She _had_ to understand he had every right not to trust her.

"I didn't say you had."

She raised one eyebrow at him. "You didn't have to say anything; your face read it all." She waved her chopsticks at him, feigning accusation.

"Sorry," he muttered, casting his eyes down at his food but still not taking a bite. To prove a point, Bea lent over to his pot and picked up a small bit of his chicken chow mein with her own chopsticks and shoved it fully in her mouth with no hesitations.

"As you told me last time," Bea began, "you told me you wouldn't hurt me. It would be pretty rude of me to poison you now. There's nothing in the Chinese." He nodded and began to tuck into his meal rapidly. For a man who had thought the Chinese was poisonous before he half chucked it down quickly. As he ate Bea added quickly, "you can trust me, I'm not Hydra."

Instantly he stopped eating. Bea knew she was walking a fine line here, obviously, Hydra would be a sensitive topic, but she wanted to see what his reaction would be. "You know who they are?"

"Relax," Bea sent him a half-smile, "it's all over the internet and news. I'd have to be deaf _and_ blind to not know who Hydra was."

Bucky gulped, seeming suddenly afraid. Bea thought he looked as if he was about to get up and ready to run for it. "Do you know about the things I've done then?"

"I know what Hydra has _made_ you do," she shrugged offhandedly as if mass murder was no big deal. She knew that wasn't the case, and what he had done was wrong. From his file, he had killed hundreds, but none of that was by choice and that was the difference. The man standing before her now looked… _scared_.

Bucky opened his mouth to object but Bea beat him to it. "I'm not afraid of you if that's what you think. From what I can tell you don't seem like a bad guy."

"You've met me twice," Bucky grumbled but he relaxed back down into his seat.

"Well, I already know you eat with your mouth shut. So that's a good sign," Bea grinned leaning over to grab another can of coke, "manners are important."

For the second time since the incident on the helicarriers, Bucky grinned along with her.

A silence settled between them which Bea filled by opening up her can of coke, the sound of the fizz echoed around the room for a few seconds. She remembered the spillage of coke on the floor and made a mental note to clean it up before leaving. Right now she wanted to relish in the fact that Bucky had returned to the store.

"What do I call you anyways?" Bea awkwardly slurped at her drink. "Now that we've established your name is, in fact, Bucky, do you want to be called that or James or something else?"

"James Buchanan Barnes," Bucky tasted the words on his own lips. It sounded foreign coming from him as if he was saying it in a strange language that he didn't fully speak. "He called me that." Finally, he shrugged "You can call me whatever you like."

"Okay," Bea nodded looking at him to see which she preferred. "I think I like you as Bucky. James sounds way too formal for you."

"It's better than what the rest of the world is calling me. Murderer, killer, assassin."

Feeling the sudden urge to comfort him, Bea shook her head. "None of that was your own doing. That was the hydra organization, whoever they are." She wanted to question him further about Hydra but thought it wasn't a good idea to bring up past memories of an organization that had brainwashed him and basically destroyed his whole life.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Bucky said quietly.

"What doesn't?"

"What you call me," Bucky explained. He swirled his food around with his fork before placing it down only half-eaten. "I won't be coming back. I'm too dangerous to be around." Bea went to defend him. She wanted to get to know Bucky. Bucky, not the Winter Soldier. From as far as she could tell she never even met the Winter Solider and she wanted to help him.

_Which was probably slightly illegal, considering he is a wanted person_, Bea thought but brushed the idea aside. She simply wanted to help him; there was no harm in that?

"I can't stay in Washington anyway. If I stay long enough Hydra will catch me again."

"Hydra?" Bea recited, "I thought they were finished, along with S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"It'll never be over," Bucky mumbled, "cut off one head, two more take its place." When Bea looked at him confused, he waved a hand as if to breeze over it. "It's just Hydra's saying."

"Oooh," Bea mouthed, "that's why it's called Hydra, after the Greek mythical beast. I _had_ wondered why it was called Hydra."

"Why do you care?" Bucky suddenly said accusingly. His tone shocking Bea. She saw his jaw tighten in frustration and the once relaxed air was erased, replaced by tension. "You should be calling the police not giving me clothes away for free and feeding me."

Bea stuttered, "I- I was just trying to help,"

"I am dangerous to be around, Bea."

"I can make my own judgment on that thank you very much," Bea fired up, glaring at Bucky, suddenly finding herself angry at what he was suggesting.

"You don't know what I'm capable of, you know nothing about me." He placed both of his arms on the side of the chair and used it to push himself up forcefully and made his way to the door. Bea followed him.

"Look, I get it. I read your file. You've gone for so long without anyone, constantly brainwashed and have given up any hope on a normal life. You're afraid," Bea listed off, parts of it were facts she had read in his file, others were her making assumptions by what she had already seen before her, "I'm just letting you know I'm going to be here every night if you're ever hungry, if you ever need clothes and… and I'm a good listener if you ever need someone to talk to."

Bucky stopped in his tracks and turned. Despite the darkness, she saw him intake a deep breath. He nodded once and then shrank into the shadows. Once again disappearing right before Bea's eyes. She was beginning to wonder if he really was a ghost.

"You better come back," she called into the darkness, knowing he wouldn't have been able to leave the building yet and was still within ears reach. The exit was ages away. "You better, because I'm getting Indian, and that shit is expensive!"


	3. Indian

** Chapter 3: Indian **

The following day Bea entered work with a clear mind. She was sure Bucky would show up tonight, she had a strong feeling he had listened to her words and hadn't left Washington, or at least she hoped he did. He was nice to talk to, even if he didn't say much.

However, as soon as she entered work her boss was standing crossed armed, tapping his foot away creating a soft pat on the concrete flooring of the store. She gulped, readying herself for the worst.

Mind reeling with possibilities… Her boss probably knew that she had been giving away free clothes. Last time Bucky came it had been a lot more than one item, although Bea made sure to pay before she left, but there was bound to have been something that got her caught. Maybe they looked at security footage, but they never did so why would they start now?

Ideas rushed through her head as she made to stand in front of her boss, trying to look as innocent as possible. Perhaps she could play it off like she knew nothing.

"Is everything alright, Aiden?"

"Were you closing up the store last night?"

_Shit. He knows._ Bea thought bitterly feeling her lips tightening up in anticipation. She tried to keep her face as straight as she could.

She nodded, "Yes."

"Then may I ask why there was a puddle of cola that was spilled on the floor in the office?" Bea almost groaned. _That was all_. She had forgotten all about the puddle of coke that she had spilled that evening, too delighted that she had seen Bucky again. "Seeing as you were the last person in the office last night and there was no coke in there before I left, I'm guessing it was you."

"Sorry, yes it was," Bea said, utterly relieved, "I must have forgotten to clean it up."

"Need I remind you on the company's policy? No fizzy drinks in the offices." He raised his eyebrows and loomed over her. It irritated Bea how he looked down on her like a child when he himself was twenty-two, only two years older than Bea. "It could attract rodents."

"Yes I'm so sorry. You're right, it was wrong of me." Bea attempted to keep the sarcasm out of her voice but failed miserably as she saw Aiden bite the inner side of his lips, preventing him from saying something. "I have a lot of work to do. I hope you accept my sincerest apologies"

She brushed past him and into the stock room to collect her first batch of clothing, and readying herself for a busy day ahead of her. At least she might see Bucky tonight. That was what kept her going throughout the day as Aiden kept making pokes at her. She didn't know why he didn't just fire her if he hated her so much. He had the power to, but she supposed she had done nothing wrong to deserve being fired. He had nothing on her.

The day finally drew to a close when Aiden handed her the store keys for the sixth time in a row, giving her another warning, "I've got my eye on you, Wilson."

When Aiden was out of her view Bea rolled her eyes. "Jackass," she muttered under her breath, going to the office for another session of research. It was becoming a habit of hers. She would usually order the food before but when she went to order from her favourite Indian takeaway store online, she discovered it had been closed for the last week due to being so close to the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier crash. Determined to have Indian tonight, Bea would have to go to another one, she had tried it out before but it wasn't nearly as nice and they only did collect in store. Although that would mean it would be cheaper. Bea weighed up the positives and negatives in her head.

For one she would have to walk, and walking could mean she would miss Bucky. But, it was only a short walk and Bucky usually came an hour later. _And_, she really wanted Indian. She was sure she could make it in time.

She gathered her things together and locked up the store, not wanting to risk anyone breaking in (with the exception of Bucky) whilst she was gone.

Her trip to the Indian take-away was uneventful. However she did earn a few confused stares when she said she wanted pretty much a bit of everything, not sure what it was that Bucky would like. But they did as she asked giving her a massive bag of boxed up take-away food and asking for a hefty price.

She handed the cash over regretfully at least knowing she would have days of left overs to eat.

_Bucky had better come tonight,_ she thought as she walked back the way she had just come.

"Bea?" She turned at the sound of her name and saw Bucky on the other side of the street, wearing the jacket she had given him with his hands stuffed inside his pockets. He must have been just about to enter the store when Bea came down the street.

Bea suppressed a smile, relieved he had come and crossed the street to join him.

"You came?" She couldn't contain her smile anymore and found it blazing up on her face at the mere sight of him. "I didn't think you would."

He shrugged, "I guess Indian sounded good."

She leant forward as if about to share a really interesting secret with him, "you know if you keep eating the food I give you I'm pretty sure you're going to end up with a heart attack."

He shrugged, "I'm pretty sure being a super soldier I'm immune to heart attacks."

"You're a super soldier!" Bea raised her eyebrows in surprise clearly not having read that part of his file, as she didn't remember it. Truth was, she hadn't read a _lot_ of his folder. After reading about the brainwash and torture side of it she had felt so sick she had to close it and take a breather, feeling sick to the pit of her stomach of what they had done to him for the past seventy years or so. She half wondered if others had read his files and thought the same, or if they really did think he was a monster. "Like, Captain America with the super-soldier serum? That's awesome."

"Something like that." He scratched the back of his head with his right arm awkwardly. Bea felt this was coming into a sensitive issue and decided to backtrack before he ran away like he had before.

"So…" she held up the bag of Indian, "Want some of it? I've got enough to feed an army, like I think I brought out the store. I was severely judged, I wasn't sure what you would like," she began to carry on walking down the street, glad when Bucky began walking next to her. "Ever have Indian before?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Well, there's a first for everything, ey?" She nudged his shoulder playfully to see what his reaction would be and began grinning in delight when Bucky let out a small chuckle himself. "You know, you've got a nice smile."

"I have?" Bucky asked mildly interested, the comment made his wipe the smile of his face immediately. Bea frowned, missing the curve of his lips.

"Yeah you do," she replied simply.

They reached the outside of the store building, Bea went to grab her keys when an idea hit her. "Hey, do you want to eat somewhere else?" His head shot up to meet hers suddenly looking nervous. "I've just already locked up and it's a nice night. There's a park not too far from here."

"Is it in the open?"

"Parts of it are," Bea admitted, tucking her keys away again, "but there are parts that are enclosed, there's a bench there that's hidden behind some bushes."

Bucky looked around as if expecting to see someone following him. Beatrice watched him carefully and saw just how rigid he was, seeing his eyes narrowing at a particularly dark alley way across the street. "I'd prefer to eat inside somewhere."

She nodded, a little disappointed but got her keys out nevertheless thinking that she should just be content that he was comfortable being with her alone. As she went to open the shutters however Bucky placed his good hand on hers.

"It's alright; we'll eat where you want."

"It's no trouble if you want to eat inside, we can."

"No," Bucky shook his head, "I can't keep looking behind my back for Hydra."

"You think they're still after you?" Bea asked tightening her grip on the Indian bag as she almost dropped it when transferring her keys _back_ into her pocket. She would have probably cried.

"Probably," he shrugged as if he didn't care but Bea knew worry was clawing at him. She wondered if he really knew what everything was in this world, he had been frozen for so many years did he really have any time to settle down into this century like Steve Rogers had. She doubted Hydra gave him that luxury. She looked up and saw Bucky, brows knitted together, rubbing the back of his head. "I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't know if they're after me and then there's that Steve guy-"

"Captain America," Bea offered, finding it weird she was talking to someone who had once been friends with _the_ Captain America.

"Yeah him," Bucky nodded, "I'm not sure if I should go find him, I know he's looking for me. He knew but- but I don't know him. With everyone after me. I don't really know what to do."

Bea was not expecting this bombshell. She had no advice to offer the guy, not exactly having any shared life experience with him. She wanted to tell him something that would help him, but couldn't find anything to say. Instead, she held up the Indian in her arms.

"Let's start with eating some Indian like normal people and then we'll go from there. How about that?" She gestured to up the road. "We can go to my apartment if you don't feel like staying out in the open. My car's just down the road."

"You sure that's alright?" Bucky asked once again, shoving his hands in his pockets. Bea noticed he did this when feeling uncertain of himself.

"Yeah, anyway it's starting to get a bit chilly now. The park wouldn't be that nice now," After going for a ten-minute walk to the Indian and then standing outside for another ten minutes she was beginning to feel the bitter sting of the cold and re-evaluated her previous statement of being a _nice night_. She really needed to start wearing more layers.

"If you're sure. I don't want to intrude in your home."

"You won't be." Bea offered him a smile beginning to walk down the road where her car was. "I'm inviting you. It'll be nice. Just two friends."

"Friends?" Bucky raised an eyebrow, "I'm not sure-"

"Well I figured after everything's that's happened over the last few days we can consider each other friends."

"Do you live alone?"

"Yeah, I would be a terrible housemate."

The rest of the way to the car they walked in silence. For the first time, however, it wasn't an awkward silence. The two strolled down the street next to one another the breeze calmly blowing. It wasn't until they reached her car that she felt Bucky staring at her with a complex expression.

"What?" She chuckled when he instantly turned away when she caught him. "What is it?"

"I'm just trying to figure out why I'm trusting you so much."

"Don't ask me," Bea shrugged, taking out her car keys and unlocking the car. She pulled open the driver's side and took the wheel, dumping the Indian in the back seat. Bucky hesitantly entered the other side without saying anything; she smiled when she saw him leaning over for his seatbelt. "Maybe I've got a trustworthy face."

"For all I know you could be Hydra tricking me." Bucky stared ahead at the road as Bea started the car. The street was deserted at this time of night so driving wouldn't be a problem, there would be barely any traffic. "And I'm just trusting you blindly." There was an ounce of irritation in his voice that disturbed Bea as his metal arm suddenly clutched the seat belt a little tighter. For a moment she was afraid he would jump out the driver's side and run.

"Do you really think that I'm Hydra?"

"No." Bea was pleased to hear him answering almost instantly. "That's what worries me, I shouldn't be this relaxed. Hydra's after me and I'm eating Indian food."

"Even more reason to just sit and enjoy the time that you can," Bea argued. "Anyway, if you keep suspecting everyone to be Hydra how do you expect to move on."

Bucky said no more on the matter. Instead, he shuffled forward on his seat looking outside at the road. "I can't remember driving in a car this slow before."

"Are you mocking my driving skills?"

"No, no… I just meant to say I've never just been in a car just to drive." Bea waited for him to explain further. Taking a deep breath he continued. "I was only ever in a car for two reasons. If Hydra was transporting me from one place to another, and I was always in the back of a van with no idea where we were and if I was hunting down someone to- to kill them." He gulped on the last bit. "It's relaxing."

Bea lips curved downwards in response. With one hand still on the wheel, she placed her other hand on his shoulder. At first, he flinched away from her touch but eventually sank into it. "What about before all of this? Before world war two? You must have driven a car then?" She wasn't really sure on the history of cars, but cars were around in the 1940s. Perhaps he'd had some experience then.

"I can't remember." He shrugged once again as if it was no big deal. They drove under a bridge where there were light dotted on the walls. Bucky turned to look out of the window at them, and for the rest of the journey was in a haze, Bea wondered if he was trying to sort through missing memories in his head.

They pulled up outside of Bea's apartment. She locked the car door and Bucky followed her inside. It was then that she forgot about her Indian still lying on the backseat of her car. She turned to unlock her car again when she saw Bucky already carrying it. Both arms wrapped around the take-away. At some point he must have put on the glove Bea had given him a week previously as his metal armed hand was covered up.

"Thanks." She smiled fondly going to take it from him but he moved it away.

He grinned, "I can handle a small take-away."

"You sure? There's a lot of stuff in there. It might be a bit too heavy for a super soldier," she mocked back, smirking as Bucky sent her a half glare. She smiled at how relaxed he was being around her. This was only their third meeting and he already trusted her.

She reached her apartment floor. Clicking the lock in the door, she went to open it – suddenly noticing the pile of washing she'd stashed by the door, she stepped back and slammed the door shut again.

Bucky frowned at her as Bea quickly explained. "Don't judge me alright but my apartment is a mess. I don't have much time on my hands to tidy it." When Bucky shrugged she went to open it but once again snapped it shut. "Okay, that's was a lie. I have _too_ much time on my hands so I can't really use that as an excuse. I'm just a messy person, get over it."

He chuckled. "It's fine. Believe me; I've probably seen messier places in my life."

"Well, being ninety years old I would be impressed if you haven't." She opened the door revealing to him her messy apartment. It seemed to be messier than when she left, although that might be because she normally didn't notice the mess. Now her eyes seemed to zone in on all the mess. Bucky didn't seem to mind though as he followed in behind her casually. She gestured to the sofa which he happily took a seat on.

She went into the kitchen to pull out two plates and arrange the Indian into piles. She wasn't sure what he would like so took what she wanted onto her plate and called him into the kitchen. He appeared behind her seconds later, now haven taken off his jacket although strangely left his glove on his left hand.

"I don't know what you want?"

"Neither do I," Bucky half chuckled.

"I'll give you a little bit of everything then." She turned back around to the plates and began pilling the stuff on. When she was done she tucked the rest of the Indian away in the take-away plastic boxes and shoved them on the side for a later day. Probably tomorrow when she can't be bothered to cook.

"Here you are."

The table was clear for the most part. She made sure there was always a spot tidiness as it was where she did most of her work. She popped the plates on the table and took a seat, Bucky sitting across from her.

"You know the past week I've eaten more nice food than I have my whole life."

"You've still got time to catch up," Bea said raising her fork to her lips. Surprisingly it was still hot. "Maybe we'll get fish and chips next time."

"Now _that_ I have had before." He chuckled and then suddenly stopped eating, looking shocked. The change in his behaviour worried Bea. She sat up straighter looking at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I remember…" Bucky said hazily, "I remember eating fish and chips."

"You do?"

"Yeah…" Bucky trailed off. Bea saw tears glistening in his eyes. She hadn't expected this type of emotion. "At the beach. I can only remember a bit of it but I'm with some guy."

"Captain America?" Bea encouraged, excited about this new revolution in Bucky's memory. She wanted to cry over the fact Bucky was finding so much comfort in such a small memory.

"Maybe," Bucky shrugged. "He's small and skinny so I don't think so."

"Pre-serum Steve," Bea said offhandedly, a little embarrassed by how much she knew on Captain America lore. She wouldn't exactly call herself a fangirl of him but he was definitely an idol who she memorized every note they learned on him in her history classes.

_Who was she kidding?_ She was totally a fangirl of Captain America. Who wasn't now that he had come out from under the ice?

"He was skinny before he had the serum injected into him."

"Huh, you'd have thought I'd have remembered my supposed best friend becoming a super soldier and changing shape." Bucky's smile at the revolution in his memory vanished and replaced by a sad bitter one. Bea let out a breath of air bringing a hand across the table and putting her hand over his metal one.

"You're making progress, you remembered something," Bea added positively. "It means what Hydra did to you isn't permanent but can be undone. You can remember." Bucky still didn't look convinced; she lightly squeezed his arm wondering if he even felt with his metal arm. It seemed he did when the metal arm became less rigid, his fingers relaxing into her grip. "I'll help you. There's got to be some technique that helps you remember." There were people who had suffered brain damage that managed to get their memories back; maybe Bucky could do that too.

She expected Bucky to fight her words but he wrapped his metal hand on top of hers, breathing out two words. "Thank-you."


	4. Stir-Fry

** Chapter 4 - Stir-Fry **

The pair continued like this for the next few weeks. Every day at 5 pm, Bucky would come over for dinner. Bea had started preparing healthier meals. One - she was sure she was going to die of a heart attack if she continued, and two - her purse was slowly getting emptier and emptier.

Rather than knocking on the front door, he would come through the fire-escape window and even though she knew he could probably get through the window without making a sound, he always knocked with his metal arm to notify her he was there. She would run out to him, still half cooking a meal and when he came inside the two would finish making the meal together as Bea taught him about modern-day cooking.

The two would spend the rest of the night in front of the TV. Thinking it was a good idea for Bucky to become associated with the modern-day world, like television and movies.

Beatrice found herself confiding in the Winter Soldier as well, feeling she owed him her trust after he gave her his. She reckoned he knew more about her now than her own parents did.

"How long have you been in America?" Bucky asked over a lasagne, obviously having picked up on her English accent. To Bea, her accent never seemed noticeable until someone picked up on it.

"A year." She stuffed a particularly large bit in her mouth, dropping most of it back down onto her plate. Bucky tried not to laugh when he saw red sauce stain her white blouse. "Shit."

"Why did you leave?"

"Boredom." She shrugged, going to reach for a napkin, but Bucky had already gone up to go get her one. "Thanks." She smiled taking the napkin from him, relishing in the small grin her sent her back as he sat back down and tucked into his lasagne. He hadn't eaten much of it and was eating it a lot slower than he was usually, she suspected he wasn't a fan of her lasagne. "I felt like doing something spontaneous for once and what's more spontaneous than upping and leaving to go to another country."

"Do you prefer it here?"

"Not much difference if I'm honest," Bea sighed, "I thought it would be some great adventure or whatever coming to another country, turns out I've just been working my arse off every day just to pay the next rent."

Bucky placed his knife and fork on either side of his plate and looked at her sincerely. "I'm sorry."

She wasn't sure why he was sorry. Sure, her life was kind of boring but it was nothing in comparison to what he had been through, which was literally hell. He shouldn't be feeling any sympathy for her, but instead, be rolling his eyes at how pathetic she sounded.

"It's no big deal. I'm glad I came, I wouldn't have met you otherwise." She felt her face heat up as she realized the implications of this statement. Bucky who had gone in for another small mouthful of lasagne had dropped his fork again just to stare at her.

"_Me_?"

"Yeah," Bea cleared her throat hating how self-conscious she suddenly was of own voice, "Believe it or not but you're probably the best thing that's happened to me since getting here."

"Sometimes I think you forget who I really am."

"I don't think I ever could," Bea mumbled light-heartedly. "I don't know if anyone's told you but it's kind of hard to forget someone who breaks into your store in the middle of the night requesting clothes."

That night, Bucky cleaned up the dishes (despite Bea's insistence that the dishwasher does that just fine) whilst Bea went to change into her pajamas after spilling sauce down her clothes. When she came out from her bedroom Bucky was pulling on his jacket and gloves.

"It's only eight," Bea sighed realizing he was planning on leaving. "You know, you don't have to go. You _can_ stay here if you want. You spend most of your evenings here anyway." She still didn't know where he went when he wasn't with her. She doubted he had a place of his own to go to at night.

Bucky looked up coldly. "You know it wouldn't be safe."

"Only because you're convinced it won't be," Bea wasn't afraid to speak the truth to him, Bucky glared her harder but turned to face the fire escape window. She had come to terms with the idea of knowing he would never accept her offer to live with her. Bucky was full of trust issues, and despite all of his attempts to trust her, she knew there was something warning him against her. With Hydra still out there she was sure he would never find peace and although the news warnings looking for the winter soldier had died down, it stressed him no less.

Before he left he turned around one more time.

"For what it's worth," he began slowly as if battling inside on whether to continue or not. He decided to and Bea was glad he did, as he said, "You're the only good thing that's happened to me since all of this started."

Before Bea could find the words to reply he had left through the window to the fire escape, shutting it promptly behind him.

_*~It started with Pizza ~*_

Bucky didn't come the next night. It had reached seven before Bea gave up watching the fire escape window. She had already given in and began eating the stir fry she had cooked up for the two of them, but left some on the side in case Bucky decided to show up.

It was the first time he hadn't come for three weeks and Bea couldn't ignore the feeling of worry nagging at her.

She used her phone to start searching up news stories that had happened nearby, hoping she wouldn't find anything that would suggest Hydra had found him. There were a few robberies of which she doubted Bucky was part of. There was one that caught her eye, however.

There was an article about a murder that had happened just a few roads down. The article was only three hours old. Bea had never heard of a murder happening in this neighborhood, it usually was so quiet and she couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't a coincidence.

She didn't know what to do. Bucky could be in danger but what help would she be?

Concluding that if Bucky really was in danger he could handle it, he practically had the same skills as Captain America himself. He could handle it… right?

Anyhow, she still needed to know he was alright. Grabbing her keys and coat, she ran down to her car. The street was far from hers but she could tell from three blocks down that there had been something bad that had happened. Cop cars were lined up down the street. She had to pull to a stop when a police banner had been pulled up around a house. One thing that caught Bea's eye was the body lying down on the road, a white blanket was thrown over. Heart racing, Her stomach dropped when she wondered who could possibly be under the blanket, refusing to believe it was Bucky.

"What's happened?" She jumped out of her car and almost ran over to a police officer who stopped her in her tracks. Not that she had planned on running into the house, what would she even do if she did?

"I need you to remove yourself from this area madam, there's been a murder."

"Who?" She began but the cop was already shooing her away. There was a group of people lined out a few meters away, he took her over to them and told her to stay put.

Beside her, a woman was being questioned.

"I saw the Winter Soldier. I saw him," Beatrice's ears pricked with interest, "Everyone's been telling me about the metal armed guy and I saw him tonight, he killed the guy."

"Are you sure?" The officer asked writing something in his notepad looking deeply concerned. Bea ran a hand through her hair and hurried back to her car. Bucky had been here then. Was he alright? Was he hurt? What had happened? Why had he killed the man?

She wasn't concentrating as she drove her way home, letting muscle memory take over as she mulled over the recent events. She wondered where he was now and if she would be able to find him. She doubted it. If he didn't want to be found, Bea would have no luck.

Feeling a heavyweight resting on her shoulders, she walked up to her apartment and almost screamed when she opened her apartment door and saw Bucky.

He was sprawled across her sofa, his metal arm covered with his jacket and glove, it dangled over the side, almost touching the floor. She noticed a nasty red gash slashed across his forehead. His jacket and jeans now covered in blood.

She let out a breath of air with the relief of knowing he was at least safe.

Her legs doubled in speed, as she ran to him. Banging into the table as she went and a photo frame tumbled over. The clatter caused Bucky to stretch upright, his hand going for his side where usually his gun would be. His eyes squinting in the darkroom.

"I'm sorry, it' just me," Bea cringed waving her hand so that Bucky would see her movement in the darkness. Déjà vu hit her as she remembered the similar situation of when they first met, in the compete darkness afraid he was going to attack her. This time, however, his eyes saw her immediately and he visibly relaxed, slumping down back into the sofa.

Bea picked up the fallen photo frame, a picture of her and her cat Luna. Feeling it was safe to move nearer, she took a seat next to him.

"I was thinking you weren't going to come tonight."

Bucky budged up so Bea had room to sit down. As he did so he winced, his metal arm went to clutch his side, "Yeah, I got distracted."

"You don't say," Bea reached out to his cheek. Carefully, she grazed a thumb over the cut. It was dry blood now and it didn't seem to hurt him much. "So, what was it that happened to distract you from me? Because I can't think of a lot of things that would distract someone from _me._" She added lightly to show him she wasn't being serious, if he didn't want to tell her he didn't have too. But she would surely appreciate it.

"It doesn't matter now. I dealt with it." Bucky replied his voice lowering warning Bea she was treading on a thin line.

"I went to the house down the road. There were police lined up down the street," Bea told him, watching him carefully to test his reaction. "I was worried for a second it had been you that had been killed."

"It would take more than a single Hydra agent to kill me."

"Hydra?" Bea's eyes widened. "It was Hydra. Did they find you?"

"That's why I didn't come here straight away, they were following me. I don't know how they found me but they did." Bucky spoke quickly and Bea had to listen hard to keep up with what he was saying. "Luckily there was only one of them when they approached me but I think there was more. I didn't know where else to go, I don't want to put you in danger but I have no one else." The more words he spoke the faster he said it, "I can't go back there, Bea. They'll turn me back into a killing machine."

"Hey," Bea reached out for his metal hand and wrapped it in her own real one. "They're not going to get you. Half the country is still trying to take down what's left of Hydra and they only managed to send one man after you, it shows they're limited on men."

"I didn't want to kill him," Bucky ran his other hand threw his mess of hair. She was surprised they didn't get tangled in it. "I just reacted."

"It was self-defence," Bea muttered but Bucky wasn't listening. He had let go off her hand and was clenching his fist up. "Bucky? Bucky? Listen, Buck-"

"I'm scared of what they'll do to me, Bea," Bucky admitted, defeated. Bea grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. At first, she didn't feel the hug being returned and she wondered if he even knew what a hug was when finally she felt his hands wrap around her back tightly as if he was clinging onto her for dear life.

"Here's what we're going to do," Bea whispered into his ear. "I'm going to get a cloth to clean your wounds. I've got some stir fry still left, it might still be warm and then we're going to watch a movie," She pulled away. How else was she supposed to console a winter solder? "Sound good?" She asked him looking him in the eye.

He nodded suddenly looking down at his boots with interest.

Bea got up, suddenly missing the comfort she had found in the hug, and went into the kitchen. She started by going for the leftover stir fry and scooping it onto a plate. It wasn't warm but it wasn't cold either, she was sure Bucky wouldn't mind.

On the way from the kitchen, the dampened a wet cloth and brought it in with her. When she got back though she was surprised to find Bucky in the same position she had found him when she had walked in on him earlier; Slumped over the couch fast asleep. His mouth was slightly hanging open as he let out a soft snore. He looked so innocent as if the last seventy years hadn't happened. It was a nice and rare sight of him. She almost wanted to take a picture to keep it forever, but that probably went over the line of creepy, she was sure Bucky wouldn't appreciate that. She chuckled to herself envisioning her putting it up on twitter with the tag line _'is this who the world is after? He looks so cute'_.

Carefully, she placed the plate on the coffee table in front of you. Trying hard not to make a sound, although by this point she was sure Bucky was so exhausted he wouldn't wake for anything. She then took her own place on the armchair beside the sofa and settled down for the night. Her knees bent, curling up to her chest. Eventually, she gave in to the soft sound of sleep, closing her eyes and feeling her cat jump up on the chair beside her, nestling herself between the crook of her legs.


	5. Hot Chocolate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the lovely comments I've received  
I just want to let you know, if you guys notice any mistakes in this fic... no matter how big or small... please let me know. I've written this on FF.net and currently in the process of transferring it onto here and my writing got considerably better towards the end so if there's anything out of place, I do love feedback :D

** Chapter 5: Hot chocolate **

Beatrice felt something tickling her leg. She moved to try and get away from the tingle but it only followed her. Resting her eyes for a few minutes before she finally managed to will them open. Just below her knee, her cat nuzzled up against her. For a moment her eyes had to adjust to the room as she wondered why she was in here, she had never fallen asleep for a whole night in her living room. Another image caught her eye when she noticed Bucky's still and sleeping form on the sofa next to her.

At first, she didn't get up and continued to stare at him, caught up in how peaceful he looked. She wouldn't mind waking up to that face every day. She most definitely couldn't say he _wasn't_ good looking. Perhaps, he could trim down the hair a little so you could see his face better, but she still liked it.

Bea shook herself from this weird trance, remembering it was an odd thing to stare at a sleeping man.

"Breakfast," Bea sighed, trying to distract herself from the man before her. She had to use both arms to pull herself from out of the chair, her legs had gone dead from sitting in such an awkward position. Her movement made her cat jump up and go over to Bucky on the sofa. He had changed positions in the night and was now sleeping on his front. His mouth slightly hanging open with his hand dropping over the side of the sofa sloppily. Luna curled up in a ball beside his hand.

On her way to the kitchen, Bea picked up her phone and saw it was almost nine, meaning she had to be at work in an hour's time.

She groaned, really not wanting to go to work today. She usually had Bucky coming round in the evenings to look forward to, but now with Bucky in her apartment, she wanted to spend the day with him. Perhaps the two could watch a film together.

Would it be terrible of her to call in sick at work?

No, she _really_ needed the money. She couldn't do that.

She opened up a new loaf of bread, grabbed two slices, put them in the toaster and popped the timer down.

"Ugh, I do not want to do today," Bea groaned. She had a six-hour shift today meaning she wouldn't be back at home until four and that was if traffic didn't suck. Most of the damage from the helicarrier crash had been resolved. There was no longer any debris randomly lying in the streets of DC.

Two minutes later the toast popped out and she coated it with butter and marmite. One of the things she missed most about England was how easy it was to buy the yeast extract spread there, as opposed to the trouble she had to go through to get some in America. She was about to take a bite of the toast when Luna meowed in delight. Bea frowned at the sound. Her cat was hardly ever happy about anything and whenever she _was_ it was a rare sight to see.

"Luna?" Bea called from the kitchen only to peer around the door frame and see Bucky sitting up and kneeling over the chair stroking her cat. Luna didn't usually like being petted, or even be in the presence of another human being, but apparently Bucky was another matter. Bea smiled when Bucky looked up, his face blazing red at having been caught in this adorable position.

"Sorry, she was nuzzling my hand, I-"

"Bucky, you don't have to apologize for stroking my cat," Bea said with the satisfying sound of the soft crunch as she bit into her toast. "She doesn't normally like human beings; I'm the only one she actually likes. It appears now I have competition." Luna moved closer to his touch as if demanding pets. "Do you want breakfast?" She asked as she returned to the kitchen to clear up the mess of crumbs she had just made.

"No," Bucky said, appearing in her kitchen doorway now holding her cat in his arm. "She kind of jumped up at me," he explained sheepishly. Luna jumped from him onto the kitchen table. "I should probably leave. Sorry for sleeping on your couch."

"You were tired, you needed it and anyway you're here pretty much every evening. Might as well sleepover," Bea chuckled, placing the crumbs in the bin when an idea hit her. She stood up straight and whirled around to Bucky. "Where are you living at the moment?"

Bucky looked down, suddenly shuffling his feet. "I'm just moving from building to building. Anything that looks abandoned."

Bea felt her heart fall at Bucky's words. She had at least expected him to have a single place to go to at night, maybe with a bed. Although she supposed that wasn't realistic for the lifestyle he had; constantly on the run.

"Well I have a sofa you can sleep on," Bea offered with an expectant smile. "If you want…" She wasn't surprised when Bucky shook his head.

"No, no I can't do that."

"Why not?" Bea shrugged. Although realistically she knew why. He was an ex-assassin who was on the run. She wasn't even quite sure what she was doing herself by offering for him to live with her. But she trusted him, she wanted to help him and he was so much better company than her cat was.

"Bea," He began stepping forward as if trying to explain himself. "I am dangerous. I have done terrible things, for so many years. Half the country is after me. _Hydra_ is still after me. I would only put you in danger, if they find out I'm living with you then they would only come after you. Why are you not getting that?"

Bea glared ahead at him, for some reason anger bubbling through her at his statement. "Hey," she snapped, surprising herself by the irritation flowing through her voice. "You don't get to tell me if I would be put in danger or not. That's up for me to decide. This isn't some stupid movie where you get to _protect_ the girl." She wasn't sure where she was going with this; she was going to lead on to say 'I can protect myself' but knew that was a straight out obvious lie. She could barely walk in a straight line without falling over her own feet let alone take on an evil organisation of henchmen single-handedly. "I just want to help out a friend who seems to be in desperate need of help. I'm worried about you, _why are you not getting that_?" Bucky opened his mouth to argue his case more but Bea beat him too it. "I'm not saying come live with me, all I'm saying is if you ever feel like _not_ sleeping on some abandoned building floor – which I don't know why you would – then there's a sofa here available for you if you want it. And, let's face it… Hydra won't be looking for you living in such a normal place like this."

Bucky seemed lost for words but slowly he nodded. "I guess you've got a point."

"Something you should know about me is that I'm very persuasive in arguments." Bea wagged a playful finger at him, glad the tension in the room had dispersed immediately after Bucky responded. "So, does that mean you're in?"

Bucky's jaw tightened and Bea knew this meant he was considering it. In his mind, she could practically see him weighing up the positives and negatives.

"On one condition," Bucky said. "You tell no one about me being here, not even your closest friend."

Bea nodded. There wasn't really anyone here she could tell. All of her close friends were still back in England and who did they care who she was living with. Bucky had now become the closest thing to a friend since moving to America a year ago. She wasn't even quite sure how that had happened.

Her eyes accidentally glided over the kitchen clock and she almost jumped out of her skin when she saw what the time was. She only had fifteen minutes until she had to be at work and it was a twenty-minute drive.

"Shit," Bea swore, moving past Bucky to grab her car keys. His fast reflexes moved him swiftly out of Bea's way.

"What?"

"I'm late for work." She snatched up her keys and put them in her pocket. There wasn't any time to do anything else; she would have to get dressed in the store dressing rooms. As for cleaning her teeth, she would just make sure not to breathe in any customer's faces (or maybe she'd do it to rude customers. Maybe they wouldn't return again).

Scurrying out of the door she picked up her shoes along the way.

"How messy is my hair?" Bea asked, opening her apartment door.

Bucky looked her up and down, his lips thinning when he saw her hair as if he was trying to stop himself laughing. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat, saying a quick "fine."

With her hand still on the doorknob, she glared at him. "Is it really because I'm sensing you're lying to me."

"It's kind of a bit messy," Bucky winced, hiding his face behind his metal hand which Bea assumed was to hide his laughter.

"How bad?" She sighed, rushing over to the living room mirror. As she ran towards it he ran a hand through her hair and found herself stuck in the strands. "Shit," she mumbled as she saw her reflection. She looked like a disaster. A disaster that had been pulled through a hedge multiple times.

"I wasn't going to say anything because you seemed to be in a rush."

"Thanks for that." Bea rolled her eyes, running to grab a brush from her bedroom. "I'll have to brush my hair when I hit some traffic lights in the car."

Before she managed to close the door Bucky asked her, "What time will you be back?"

"At around three till four depending on if I finish my work quickly. Don't worry, I'll try to, I know you'll miss me too much," She added with a wink which Bucky only scoffed at.

She ran out of the building feeling bad about leaving Bucky behind for the day. She wasn't sure whether he would stay in the apartment or not. She hoped he did. She liked the idea of coming home to find him still there. She knew she would be worrying about him all day on whether or not another stupid Hydra agent had found his whereabouts again.

To top it off she didn't run into a single red traffic light along the way and her hair was still a mess when going into work.

As soon as Bea exited one of the changing rooms now fully in uniform, Aiden came bustling over to her his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face which caused both his eyebrows to connect to one another.

"What time do you call this? _Again_?"

"Sorry, I was distracted with something." _yeah, an ex-assassin_. She was sure if she told him that he would leave her alone.

"I've given you multiple warnings about lateness," Aiden said in a deep voice, trying to sound threatening.

Bea didn't respond, knowing he would only respond with something equally as harsh such as; 'you're fired'. Not something she wanted to hear.

In her defence, she hadn't been late to work for almost an entire week. That was almost a record. Aiden should be praising her.

"Just get on with your work but I expect you to take the late shift tonight."

Bea groaned, knowing her shift would be last eight hours now instead of her contracted six. There wasn't much she could do about it without her getting fired for it. Aiden was her boss and _technically_ she had to listen to what he said.

Her day continued on with its usual boring self. At least now she had the excitement of knowing Bucky was at the apartment after she finished work. She was thinking of things they could do together. She wanted to get him caught up on the century, perhaps then he'd have a chance at getting out in the world himself and maybe find a job of his own (perhaps after the whole Winter Soldier thing has died down and he wasn't a wanted man).

As she worked she constructed a list of movies that he should watch. She was thinking perhaps she would have a Harry Potter marathon with him; it had been a while since she had watched those films and she was sure Bucky would enjoy them.

As five o'clock drew nearer Bea found herself looking up at the store clock waiting for the minutes to go by. Each second passed by in an age.

She was busy folding jeans when someone cleared her throat next to her. She turned, expecting to find a rude customer that thought it appropriate to cough to gain her attention when a simple 'excuse me' would suffice.

Instead, she saw Bucky.

She almost squealed in shock. Her heart doing a somersault in her chest. Standing there, Bucky dressed in his thick jacket, and gloves on both hands despite the heat. However, he had a new addition to his wardrobe. A blue baseball cap.

Bea recognized the cap. It was one of her own that she had stuffed in a draw in the living room having no use for a baseball cap. It wasn't her style. She didn't even know why she had it. But it suited Bucky well, hiding his face well enough to not guess it was him but not enough for Bea to still recognize him.

"Bucky?" Bea whispered, wanting to make sure it was definitely him and not some stranger that looked like him. In response, he sent her a sideways glance. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you or anything."

"It's almost five," Bucky explained. "I got worried because you said you'd be back by four. I thought maybe Hydra-"

"Hydra doesn't have me," Bea said softly placing a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. She changed her eyesight to land on Aiden himself and sent a glare across the room "Maybe that evil _dick_tator does, but not Hydra."

"Who's he?" Bucky frowned at the spite in Bea's words.

"My boss. He's the reason I'm late getting home," she said. "I wouldn't be here if he didn't put me down for a later shift. I'm sorry, I should be done soon. I just need to finish this table and then we can leave… that is if you don't mind waiting for me."

Bucky shrugged. "I've got nothing better to do."

She smiled and went back to folding jeans; she was surprised to find Bucky pretending to browse at clothes whilst she finished off. She tried hard to fold the clothes as quickly as possible. Now that Bucky was here she had an even bigger motivation to get the hell out of there.

She finished the jeans off by throwing the last one on top of the pile, her hand aching from folding so much. Quickly, signing off her shift, she found Bucky still looking at the same shirt as he had been before. His back was turned to her and she decided to creep up behind him a smirk folding out onto her face.

"Boo!" She jumped. Bucky flung around, dropping the shirt he was holding and Bea felt his metal arm hit her in the side. It wasn't as much of an impact as it could have been, but the wind was definitely knocked out of her.

Recovering in deep breaths, she managed to say, "Right, rule one… don't sneak up on a metal armed assassin."

"Sorry, Bea," Bucky apologized. "I should have realized it would be you, I just reacted."

"No, no," Bea shook her head standing up straight. "I should have realized that wouldn't be a good thing to do." Bea patted his left shoulder. "That _can_ hurt." She laughed, rubbing her side. Bucky opened his mouth to presumably apologize again. "Don't even think about saying sorry again. I'm fine." She smiled satisfactorily when Bucky did as she said. "Now, let's go. I was thinking we could stop at the coffee shop on the way to my car if you don't mind. I'm thirsty."

Bucky shrugged, his right hand pulling his cap down lower over his face as they exited the store.

"I like that hat by the way," Bea conversed. It looked so much better on him than it ever did her. "It suits you."

"I didn't want to be noticed, it was the only thing I could find."

"Well I like it," she said as she attempted to cross the traffic driven street. Her hand was suddenly jolted and she was pulled back. The next second a car flashed by her, right where she had been stood two seconds previously. Breathing heavily, Bea looked down at her hand and saw a gloved hand enclosing it.

Bucky let go almost instantly.

"Wow- okay, thanks," Bea finally breathed. "I literally could have died then if that wasn't for you."

Bucky rolled his eyes, "Look both ways before crossing the street next time."

"Good thinking," Bea chuckled nervously, this time, making sure the road was safe to cross before going.

The two entered the coffee shop. At this time of day, it was always quite crowded so Bucky slipped in well, hiding behind Bea who went up to the counter.

"What can I do for you?" The employer asked with a smile that seemed a little too forced.

"Can I get a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream. Buck? What do you want?" She turned to face him. He looked a little off-put by the even shorter version of his name but slowly shrugged. "Whatever you're having."

"Make that two," Bea said to the cashier, pulling out her purse.

"You don't have to keep paying for stuff," Bucky told her as she handed over a few notes.

"It's alright. I like helping you," she replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The two waited in silence for their drinks to be poured. "I was thinking…" Bea began uncertainly. She wasn't sure how Bucky would react. "You should get a phone."

"A phone?" Bucky raised his eyebrows. "Why would I need one?"

"To communicate with people, _obviously._"

"And who would I want to call and who would want to call me?"

"Me?" Bea grinned as she accepted the two cups of hot chocolate for them. She handed one of them to Bucky. "I was just thinking that I worry about you when I don't know where you are…" She inwardly cringed at how clingy she was sounding. It wasn't that she wanted to know where he was all the time, she just liked to reassure herself that he was fine. "I just like to know you're safe and if you ever need me I'm just a phone call away, and vice versa."

Bucky seemed to consider it. "Would Hydra be able to track it?"

Bea hadn't considered this. "I mean they _probably_ could, but we'll put the phone in my name. They won't suspect it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Bea smiled at how nervous Bucky sounded at the simple idea of getting a mobile phone for himself. "You don't even have to use it, it would just settle my mind if I can get in contact with you and know that you've not been kidnapped by Hydra if you're not around."

"If it'll stop you worrying I will." Bucky nodded. "I just don't see myself using it much otherwise."

"Well, I don't know…" Bea took a sip of her drink but swallowed too much at once of the hot liquid and felt her throat burn. "There are fun games you can play on it. Phones are literally essential items; I think I would die without my phone as a trusty companion."

Bucky held up the drink with distaste, "This is disgusting. I think I've had this before though."

"You don't like hot chocolate!" Bea almost chocked on her drink at this revelation about Bucky. "That's it… you can no longer stay around mine."

Bucky chuckled, putting the hot chocolate cup on the coffee table in front of them with a childish scowl. "It's not nice, it's too sweet."

"You are_ wrong._" Bea shook her head in disbelief. "It's soothing."

"It's too hot."

"Wait for it to cool down then."

"Then it doesn't taste nice."

Bea snorted. "Next time I'll get you a cold drink. I guess they don't call you the Winter Soldier for nothing."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"It was, wasn't it?" She cocked an eyebrow causing Bucky to laugh. His smile lighting up all the features of his face. It suited him better than the murder frown he had on his face 24/7. Perhaps she should tell him this, maybe he would smile more often. Although she doubted the Winter Soldier cared what he looked like.

He carried on laughing for a few more seconds before it was wiped cleanly off his face all of a sudden, his eyes catching something.

Bea followed his eye line and found him looking at the café TV screen where a news report was being shown. Bea recognized the scene on the screen. It was of the street from yesterday, where a dead body had been found lying on the road. She cringed when she saw cops lining the streets. A news reporter appeared on screen with a sad expression. The sound had been muted in the café but the headline 'the metal armed assassin strikes' was bold and white.

The light-hearted nature between them previously vanished.

"It's alright." Bea leant over to reach for his hand. He neither flinched nor moved into her touch but just remained expressionless. "It was only self-defence."

"I thought the news on me had died down."

"It had for a while, but I guess last night made it all come back up." Bea frowned. "Look, you did nothing wrong. It was Hydra, they probably deserved it if they plan on taking you back and brainwashing you again. You don't deserve that and Hydra can go to hell if they think they're getting you back again."

She saw him gulp. "I guess you're right," he said quietly. "I can't lose my memories again though. I've come too far to forget it all now and if I go back I'll forget all about this." He gestured in between Bea. She smiled in response, a feeling of warmth spread around her chest at the idea of Bucky being worried about forgetting her. "Maybe living with you isn't a good idea."

"You _are_ staying at mine whether you like it or not." Bea added stubbornly, "I won't take no for an answer. Is that clear?"

Bucky nodded but pulled his cap down further still. "If you say so, ma'am."


	6. Popcorn

** Chapter 6: Popcorn **

On their way out of the coffee shop, Bea placed her empty hot chocolate cup in the bin. Bucky held the door open for her letting her out first.

"I was thinking of things we could do," Bea said stuffing her hands in her pockets, the coffee shop door snapping shut behind them. It had gotten much colder from when they went into the store and she considered going back inside to buy another hot chocolate to warm herself up.

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked.

"I mean when we get back to the apartment," Bea explained. "You need to get caught up on the decade right? So what's a better way to do that than watching some pop-culture films?"

"That sounds good." Bucky nodded enthusiastically. "I haven't watched a film in ages."

This brought another question to Bea's attention that she really wanted to ask him. She wondered if the last time he watched a film was in 1944. "What exactly _did_ you do in your spare time as the Winter Soldier? Did Hydra even give you any time off to do your own stuff?" At the mention of the Winter Soldier, Bea saw Bucky visibly wince and she realized she may have made mistake in asking. "You don't have to reply," she quickly said. "I was just curious."

"No, no it's alright," Bucky mumbled. Bea could barely hear him over the busy road beside them as cars rolled along their engines roaring. It was getting late and the beams of car headlights kept hitting the two of them full in the face. "I don't remember much of it."

"Really-" Bea raised an eyebrow surprised. "Why not?"

"They would wipe me. I couldn't even tell you most the people who_ I_ killed," Bucky admitted, training his eyes to the ground with misery. "And for the most part, I was in the cryofreeze." Bea opened her mouth to question him about what a cryofreeze was but Bucky was already prepared to answer. "I was frozen for most of the past seventy years, whenever I wasn't doing missions I would be put back inside. It got me out of the way and stopped me aging." He swallowed. "It was no big deal though; the cryofreeze was the best part of it all. I was never hurting anyone."

"I had no idea…" Bea trailed off; the overpowering need to cry suddenly pricked her eyes. Bucky had been through so much over the last seventy years. Unimaginable things. Bea doubted any sane human would be able to deal with a year of this torture, let alone seventy. Slowly, she moved her hands and slid into his metal one. She wondered for a moment if he could even feel her hand in his with his arm being metal, however, he surprised her when his hand enclosed around hers. It wasn't tight enough to squish her fingers in his metal ones, she could still easily slip her hand in and out again but it was tight enough to know he was clutching onto her.

"I was thinking we could watch Harry Potter," Bea said awkwardly in an attempt to get rid of the tension filling the air. Bucky nodded his head once telling her he was up for it. "It's about a boy wizard. It's great unless you want to watch something else. Maybe something you recognize like The Wizard of Oz."

"Wizard of what?"

"Wizard of Oz." Bucky still looked confused by the name so Bea shook her head, brushing it aside.

"Don't worry about; it's a film that came out before the war."

"Oh."

"Maybe we'll watch it to try and jog your memory."

"Yeah… that's a good idea."

Bea bumped his shoulder, which probably hurt her more than it did him. "Hey, don't get disheartened by the fact you can't remember. This kind of stuff takes time."

They continued down the street in silence, Bea became very aware of their connected hands. They were close to her car but Bea decided if they were going to do a movie night they were going to do it properly. Her car was in sight and Bucky was already walking to it. But instead, Bea grabbed his hand and pulled him in a different direction.

"We're heading to the store first," she answered before Bucky could question. "We're getting popcorn." She grinned childishly. "I don't have any indoors. I don't do many movie nights so… I've got to go get some. Now, are you more of a sweet or salt kind of guy because I'm more of a sweet kind'a person. You might not remember, that's cool I'll buy both just to make sure, we'll see-"

"I like salt," Bucky said, putting a stop to Bea's rambling. His lips twitched up into a smile and Bea felt warmth wrap around her heart in pride at the small memory that Bucky seemed to remember.

"Firstly, you don't like hot chocolate and _now_ you like salt popcorn. Will we ever agree?" Bea tutted playfully.

They went into the grocery store. Bea began moving between aisles filling her basket with snacks for the evenings, with every aisle she went down she found something to put into the basket and she was soon regretting not just heading straight for the popcorn section.

Bucky offered to carry the basket around as Bea looked as if she was about to kneel over from the weight of it. "I probably should have gotten a trolley." She chuckled but continued to hold it until she actually did trip over it.

Bucky swooped down to collect it from her. "Metal arm remember, it feels like a feather."

"Show off," Bea muttered, reaching up on tiptoes to pick out a bottle of soda. Before she could get it, Bucky reached up with his other hand and beat her to it with no stretching involved, he pushed aside a few of the snacks inside the basket and fitted it in. "Now you're just bragging."

Bucky smiled lightly. "Is this it?" He gestured with his head at the basket. "This is a lot."

"I get hungry when watching films." Bea almost scoffed at herself. Who was she kidding; she was hungry _all_ the time. "Anyway, I've not eaten anything all day."

The final aisle they went down was the popcorn one, Bea bought a mix of salt and sweet and popped it in the basket, which looked as if it was about to break from how much weight it was holding, but to Bucky, it seemed to weigh nothing. His metal hand was down at his side and wasn't strained at all from the weight.

Bea frowned. "Do you even feel the weight if you swap hands?" Bucky did just that and took the basket with his right instead of his left. "Still nothing?"

Bucky shook his head. "Still feels light."

"I guess I'm just weak." Bea sulked. "I think we've got it all before I go and buy and anything else. Do you want anything?"

"Do you think we can get pizza again?"

If possible, Bea's smile grew wider. "That is the _best_ idea." She ran past Bucky and skidded down the aisles running to the pizza sections and picking up a margarita and a pepperoni. "Why did I not think of pizza?" she asked herself when Bucky caught up with her easily as he appeared at the end of the aisle.

"You're quite a fast runner," Bucky said as Bea met him halfway and chucking the pizzas into the basket.

"If only I was fit enough to actually make use of that speed."

"Maybe we can go out for a morning run together. You've helped me and maybe I can help you," Bucky suggested and Bea burst out laughing.

"Do be serious, I think I would rather sit on a bench and watch you run." Her face flamed red at the notion, suddenly finding herself looking at his chest and imagining him in tight-fitting gym clothes. Bucky, thankfully, didn't seem to realize her sudden shyness and nodded once and turned towards the direction of the cashier. Bea mouthed a quick "shit" before following, feeling the heat on her face.

She followed him and bought their products. It came to a shocking $42 which Bea almost choked on. She was sure she hadn't picked up _that_ much. Only a few bars of candy and the pizzas, the popcorn, the drinks, a few other bits and bobs that she could snack on. Perhaps she really did go over the top, but she was sure it'd be worth it. It was a Harry Potter movie night for crying out loud!

She handed the money over with only mild complaining and the two exited the store, Bucky still holding the shopping.

"Your arm's quite useful for these kind of situations." She gestured to the arm he was holding the shopping in. "Although, I feel kind of lazy. You sure you don't want me to hold anything?"

"I can handle it." He weighed the bag in his hand. "It's light if anything."

"Ugh, you make me feel completely weak." Bea unlocked her car and got in the front seat, gesturing for Bucky to just throw the bag in the back. He then took the passenger seat next to her.

"I have a metal arm, Bea. You're not weak." He frowned at her suggestion. She gave him a small encouraged smile and put her foot down on the peddle, taking the only route she ever took; her apartment. When she decided to go to DC she had expected so much of her life, to travel, see the world - only to discover that travelling was expensive and so was living. She was barely able to keep her apartment. In all honesty she wasn't sure if she could afford for Bucky to live with her. The snacks today had emptied her purse, which was meant to last her at least three days. She didn't want Bucky to feel bad (which she knew he would) so she remained quiet.

"Did you move over to America alone?" Bucky asked her suddenly, catching her off guard. She hadn't expected him to ask _her_ questions when she had no story to tell him. She was dull in comparison to everything he'd seen. Although, she supposed from his perspective that was probably better.

"Yeah," Bea replied as she drove, stopping at a red light. "My parents and friends are still in England." She frowned. "I mean I do have friends here but none of them as close as the ones in England. Here, they're more acquaintances. Like… My next-door neighbour is kind of cool. Kind of a drug addict though." She shuffled uncomfortably in her seat, "Sorry I didn't mean to sound so depressing then_. I do have friends._" Well, not really. It was hard making friends when you're completely new to an environment, "Okay, in all honesty you've probably the first friend I've made since coming to America."

She wasn't really sure what that said about her.

Bucky nodded. "If it helps you're the first friend I've made in seventy years from what I can remember."

Bea grinned. "Okay, you win." A thought struck her, "What about Steve, as in Captain America?"

"I wouldn't really call him a friend, I hardly know him." She heard his voice crack as she remained focused on the road of ahead of her.

"Will you ever go find him?"

"I don't know. He's a stranger to me."

"But you feel like you know him?"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Bucky nod immediately. "I've got glimpses of memories of him, it's weird. It's like I feel like I know him but I know nothing about him. I don't know how to describe it."

"I imagine he can help you," Bea suggested. "He's been under the ice for seventy years. If anyone understands about settling down into a new century it would be him and I think you can trust him. I mean I know I don't know the guy, but it's Captain America. He can't exactly be bad."

"Like I am."

"No, not like you," Bea scolded. "You're not bad Bucky; you're just as much a victim of Hydra than any of their targets. From the words of Harry Potter; _You're a very good person who bad things have happened too._"

Bucky shrugged off the nerdy quote, "I don't know if I can trust him. It's difficult."

"If you think like that you'll never trust anyone."

"I suppose," Bucky acknowledged. "But I trust you, don't I?"

"I'm _am_ very trust-worthy person though," Bea said sarcastically. "I think we should go to the Smithsonian," she added as an afterthought. "They have this whole exhibition on Captain America, with loads of information on him. You're in there too. I remember going there a few months back. It might help you remember stuff before Hydra."

"You would do that?"

"Yeah," Bea replied as if it was obvious. "It's only down the road and I've been planning on going back again anyway." She'd been meaning to go and visit the museum again soon, what better excuse to go than to help Captain America's best friend remember.

"Alright, we'll go."

The rest of the journey consisted of Bea trying to explain Harry Potter to him. He seemed to be getting it until Bea started bashing out words such as 'muggle' and 'Hogwarts' as if expecting him to understand what they meant. She didn't question him on it, but from the confusion on his face she could tell he was completely lost.

_*~It Started With Pizza~*_

That night Bea shoved the two pizzas in the oven before setting up the DVD. Bucky was already sitting on the couch, Luna sitting by his lap, fast asleep. A comedic look of betrayal glossed over Beatrice's face as she stared at her cat. Luna usually only ever slept beside her.

"Traitor," she scoffed at her cat earning a chuckle from Bucky. She was glad to see he had taken his jacket and gloves off, leaving most of his metal arm exposed.

Bea took a packet of salted popcorn from one of the bags of shopping and chucked it at Bucky. Despite him being turned completely away from her, he managed to catch it with his arm without even flinching. She returned to the bag and pulled her own sweet popcorn out and took a seat next to Bucky on the couch on his left whilst her cat was on his right.

"I haven't watched these films in ages." Bea chucked a few pieces of popcorn up into the air and gave a proud grin when she managed to catch them with her mouth. "I should compete in the Olympics with this. You try."

Bucky accepted the challenge and missed by a mile, the popcorn landing on Luna's back, causing her to jump up and climb off the sofa. He looked at Bea sheepishly but tried again. Failing, he missed his mouth _again_. For a super-soldier he was apparently crap at catching popcorn in his mouth as he threw it up and the pieces rolled down his chin.

"You're terrible," Bea giggled.

"I guess I'll stay away from Olympic popcorn throwing then."

"Good idea," Bea picked up the remote and pressed play, the Hogwarts theme tune soon began playing.

_*~It Started With Pizza~*_

An hour later Bucky was fully engrossed in the film. A plate of pizza on his lap that was left forgotten as his attention remained on the TV screen. It was way past ten o'clock now and Bea had gone and gotten blankets, feeling the chill of the night air, her heating turned off.

So far he seemed to be understanding what was happening and was laughing at bits he was supposed to be laughing at. He at least understood now what Bea meant when she said 'muggles' and 'Hogwarts' now.

He decided his favourite character was Hermione, reminding him a little of Bea, the two both argumentative and fiery. This reminded him of the woman in question beside him; she hadn't made a sound in a while. Not wanting to make it obvious he was looking at her, he sneaked a lookout of the corner of his eye and saw her completely asleep, her head half on his shoulder. He had barely noticed but now that he had he couldn't ignore it.

The movie was coming to an end now and without moving too much he reached over for the remote control using the button Bea had showed him before playing the film to stop it, feeling a sense of pride when the screen went blank.

Feeling the need to sleep he went to close his eyes but reminded himself of the nightmares that were becoming a daily occurrence. It was one of the reasons he had been so reluctant to live with Bea. He would often find himself in the middle of the night forcing himself to wake up because the nightmares became so intense, and he would wake to find sweat poured over his forehead and his hands out in fists, ready for an attack.

No, he couldn't sleep. Not if Bea was beside him, he might have one of these nightmares and hurt her.

He would stay awake if he had to. It wouldn't be the first time he had had a sleepless night.

Patting the spot beside him, Luna jumped up and curled around his legs. She was like a hot water bottle, but much fluffier. It seemed they were the only two in the world that wasn't afraid of him. He looked down at Bea again who was breathing softly, hogging the blankets as they wrapped around her, cocooning her inside.

He knew he shouldn't be here. He was dangerous and putting Bea in danger just by being in her presence. Hydra was still after him. But, he felt so comfortable with her. He didn't have to put his glove and hat on to hide who he was with her.

She accepted him.


	7. Picnic

**Chapter 7: Picnic**

Her eyes cracked open. The parted curtains letting the sunlight fill into the room. As quickly as she could, she assessed her surroundings. She knew it was her living room. Her distortion from not waking up in her own bed faded quickly.

What she didn't understand was why she was feeling so uncomfortable.

She felt her back dig into the chair as her body was twisting in a weird angle. Her shoulder resting on something hard that was far from comfortable. Her neck was too stiff to move. For a few more minutes she laid there, slowly moving her body so it tucked into her chest but she could feel the sunlight underneath her eyelids and she needed to wake up.

Blinking a few times she looked to see what she had been laying on and saw the glint of metal. He noticed her movement and met her eyes halfway. At first glance, Bea noticed the dark circles heavy under Bucky's eyes.

"Morning," she said in a hoarse voice, coughing once to clear it.

Bucky smiled down at her, his eyes glossed over and drained. Beatrice half wondered why but doubted he had managed to get much sleep with her lying half on top of him, "Good morning."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. When I said you could live here I wasn't planning on sleeping on the couch too. I _do_ have a bed, which - by the way - if I do accidentally sleep on the couch again you can take my bed, don't feel pressured to stay sitting here."

Beatrice forced herself up into a sitting position and got off of Bucky's shoulder. She pulled the covers off of herself and instantly missed the feel of warmth her blankets and Bucky gave her.

"Did you stay there all night in that position?"

"Yeah, I did."

"How did you sleep?"

Before Bucky could respond, however, there was a knock at the door. Bea found use for her legs again and pushed herself off the chair having to use both arms to do so.

"It's like seven in the morning." Bea groaned as she passed the bathroom she quickly took a peek inside at her own reflection. Her hair having gone wild whilst she slept and she was pretty sure she had morning breath. She reached for the handle and opened the door revealing a delivery boy.

"Good morning, love, I've got this for you." He passed over a rectangular box, which Bea knew instantly was her fixed laptop.

"Oh, thanks." She accepted the box and tucked it under her arm, going back into the living room. "I know just the thing we can do." She held up the box to Bucky, who slowly pulled himself off the couch as well. Through his movement Luna jumped up and nicked his spot on the couch, curling up in a ball. "Internet."

"I know how to use a computer." Bucky raised his eyebrows. In Bea opinion he looked completely worn out, she wasn't sure why unless he had gotten up in the middle of the night to do a run or something, but she was sure he would have woken up if he'd have moved. She was practically laying on him.

"You do?" Bea replied, surprised. He had obviously had to learn when being the Winter Soldier. She didn't want to press further and end up bringing up bad memories. "Okay, well we can use it to jog your memory. Maybe we can use it for some google searches about world war two. I could probably do with a fresh memory on what happened. It's been a while since I did history."

She moved over to the kitchen table and propped her laptop down, switching it on. It whirred before starting up.

"You know, if this laptop had never crashed we would have probably never met," Bea said offhandedly whilst trying to clear some space on the mess of her table for Bucky to take a seat. He didn't seem bothered by the mess and took a seat anyway. "Because I wouldn't have stayed so long after work to use their computer. Funny how that happens, eh?"

Bucky nodded and there was silence between them. A minute later, out of nowhere, Bucky broke the silence. "I'm glad we met."

"Well _obviously,_ I _am_ awesome." Bea dramatically flicked her hair over her shoulder. It probably would have been more dramatic if her hair wasn't shoulder length. "And it all started over a few slices of pizza." She smiled at the light-hearted nature of their conversations. She sobered up quickly and placed a hand on his shoulder. Even sitting down he was still almost as tall as her. "No, but seriously. I'm glad I met you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Bea picked her words carefully. "I was planning on going back to England just before I met you. I was going to go back and live with my parents for a while to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with my life. I wasn't exactly doing what I wanted here but you gave me a reason to stay. So, thanks."

Bucky frowned. "If you want to go back to England, don't let me stop you."

"No, no." Bea shook her head. "I don't want to go back. I just didn't see the point in staying in America when I wasn't doing anything with my life, when all of my friends and family were a whole ocean away. I'm just saying you've made living in America bearable."

Bucky eyes widened ever so slightly at Bea's confession. He ran a hand through his hair as if unsure of what to say. She wasn't sure if she overstepped the boundaries of their friendship. She knew Bucky was sensitive with this kind of stuff but she needed him to make sure she appreciated him.

"Anyway…" Bea breathed out changing her focus to the laptop in front of her. She suddenly became very aware of their touching shoulders and she ever so slightly moved away to break the connection. She didn't need a mirror to know her face was glowing bright red.

"Thank you," Bucky said quietly. So quietly that Bea couldn't be sure if he had even spoken.

"That's alright." Her laptop had finally loaded and revealed her desktop background which was a picture of her and Luna, still in England inside her family home. "They've removed my password," Bea said clicking over to _personal settings_ and going to add another one. "Actually this is good, we can pick one together so you can use my computer whenever."

"No, it's yours. I don't want to-"

"Bucky, you're living here now. If you ever feel like using the laptop please do." Bea began thinking of something that the two had in common, that would make a good password. "What do you think should be our password?"

Bucky lent over and with the one hand-typed in a single word. Bea didn't quite catch what he wrote but she carefully watched his fingers type when he filled in the 'Retype password' section and saw the word p_izza_ being written.

"I like it," Bea said as Bucky went to click save but the laptop rejected the password saying it was too short.

"Oh, how about this." Bea nudged Bucky's shoulder out of the way and began to extend the password.

_"It started with pizza_," Bucky read the letters as she typed them. "That works." He smiled up at her.

"Not that we really need a password, who would want to steal this crappy old laptop," she said as she clicked save and left the laptop over for Bucky. "I've got work today again but you can use this if you want so you can research up on things. I've just got to nip into the shower and get ready. Call me if you need me."

She grabbed her towel that was lying on the radiator and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

_*~It Started With Pizza~*_

Bucky wasn't sure what to look up. He wasn't sure what he wanted to know. His first thought turned to Steve - or Captain America as Bea called him. But for some reason, Bucky found calling him Captain America odd.

He put 'Steve Rogers' into the search bar and thousands of pages and pictures appeared, mostly of him in the recent news after the helicarrier crash. He clicked on the fourth one and found a site that had a detailed timeline of 'Captain America's adventures' starting from when he was first injected with a sort of serum. Reading it Bucky was trying to imagine the events happening.

From in the bathroom, he heard the sound of gushing water being turned on.

As he scrolled to the part where the 'Howling Commandos' was formed, a vague memory of him being in some sort of bar with Steve came to his attention. There was another person there. A woman with short brown hair wearing a red dress. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pin her face with a name until he came across her in the timeline, discovering she had been part of the SSR. Margaret Carter.

"Margaret." Bucky tested the name on his lips but it sounded wrong. He did a quick search on her name finding the name; _Peggy Carter_ which sounded like it fit much better. He was surprised to discover there was no death date meaning she was still alive, despite all of these years.

From the bathroom, he heard Bea break out into a song. He recognized the song from Bea's music playlist on her phone that she had played a few dinner times back by an artist called Avril Lavigne. She had played it on repeat, mumbling the words under her breath. He almost laughed when she began singing it over dramatically and completely missing a high note.

He turned back to the timeline when the date of his 'death' showed up. There was a long paragraph about Doctor Zola, a German scientist and one about himself. From what he could tell there was no mention of Hydra taking Bucky and turning him into the monster he is today. But Bucky could remember the fall. It was always the first thing that came back to him whenever he started to remember things again after being wiped. He remembered the desperation to reach for Steve's hand, the fear when he missed, the pain when he landed and the horror at seeing his arm ripped off. There was a trail of blood everywhere as Bucky tried as hard as he could to get up, only to be caught by Hydra. He remembered wishing for death.

Feeling tears prick at his eyes Bucky pulled the lid of the computer down and went back over to the sofa to sit down next to Luna who moved to give him enough space. She curled up on his lap as Bucky stroked her.

The bathroom door opened to reveal Bea in her work uniform and a towel wrapped around her head.

"Bucky?" She said instantly as she rushed over to him, "What happened?" She looked from her laptop back to him in confusion. "What did you read?"

"I was just trying to jog my memory," Bucky explained trying to keep back tears when he thought of the _fall. _If only he had managed to grab on. "I was looking at a timeline of events and I just read up on my death. It just brought memories up again, I shouldn't have read it."

Bea moved her hands to wrap herself around Bucky, embracing him. She felt him duck his head in the crook of her shoulder.

"You're safe now. You don't have to worry about Hydra or anything." Bea consoled.

"The whole world's after me and Hydra is still out there," Bucky reminded her sourly. "And I don't know who to trust besides you."

"Are you thinking of getting in contact with Steve?"

"Yes," Bucky answered honestly. "But I'm not ready. There was another person that I recognized from before, and she's still alive. Peggy Carter."

"You want to see her?"

"I think so. I don't think I was close to her as I was Steve."

"I'll find her address then. _God_, she's got to be in her ninety's now if she's still alive." Bea got up and began to walk into her room. "Let me just get changed first."

"I thought you had work?" Bucky asked, confused.

"Something more important has come up." She grinned, almost tripping when over the mess of her floor to reach her room. "I'll just call in sick," she said as she closed her bedroom door behind her.

Bucky wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't quite sure how Bea had managed to become the person he depended on most in such little time. He had given up believing people would ever look at him the way she does, without fear in their eyes.

Bucky hadn't realized how long he had pondered over Bea when she appeared in front of him wearing leggings and a loose-fitting hoodie.

"I've just called work, they said it'd be fine." Bea shrugged. "It's not like I have days off often, this is the first time I've called in sick since working there." She walked over to the laptop and opened it up. She smiled as she typed in the password. "This has got to be my favourite password yet."

A quick search told her that Peggy Carter was living in a care home. She was surprised she found it so quickly. It said she was one of the former founders of S.H.I.E.L.D.. She would have thought they would keep the location details of their founder secret but she supposed, after S.H.I.E.L.D uploaded everything to the internet, not a lot remained hidden. Not that she wasn't glad, otherwise she would be doing a much deeper search.

"She's in a care home nearby." Bea scanned the page and wrote down the address on a sticky note. "Ugh, there are no visiting hours on a Sunday. We'll have to go tomorrow. Is that alright?"

Bucky looked down, a little disappointed but said no more.

"You didn't have to stay off work for me."

"'Course I did," Bea shut the lid of her laptop down. "You're my friend and you're upset. I would be a shitty person if I left you alone with just my cat for the day, even though she is great." She leant down to stroke her cat's ears who looked up and snuggled into her touch. "Let's do something today to get our mind of off it."

"What do you want to do?"

Bea crossed her arms and thought. "Um… a picnic." She gestured to the window which had been left open throughout the night to let the summer air inside. Bucky looked unsure at the idea of leaving the safety of their apartment, but Bea was determined to persuade him. "It's a nice day and there's a park literally just outside where there's a secluded area with a bench. I barely see anyone walk down there and also I really want some picnic food."

Bucky scratched his head. If Bea wanted to do it, he would. He would probably end up enjoying himself. "Alright."

Bea's face lit up into a smile as she practically ran into the kitchen, tripping as she did on the laptop box that she had dropped on the floor when taking her laptop out. Maybe one day she would clean this place up, but that was unrealistic. She knew that.

She didn't have much in her cupboards. She managed to pick up a few sausage rolls and did some buttered sandwiches, a tub of Pringles and two apples that were more for Bucky than her. She had never been a big fan of fruit. Bucky appeared in the doorway and as she passed him the food he had found a plastic bag to put them into.

"This looks like enough," Bea said, weighing the bag. She was about to head for the front door with the bag when Bucky swooped down and took it from her.

"I've got it," he said when Bea went to protest. She knew it would be no good arguing with him, plus she was kind of glad that she didn't have to worry about carrying it because knowing her, she would end up dropping it all and that would mean no food.

They made their way over to the park together. It wasn't quite lunchtime yet and true to her word the park was mostly empty, other than a single man walking his dog. Bucky followed Bea as she walked behind a tall bush. She brushed the leaves aside for Bucky to get through.

"Ugh crap," Bea groaned when she saw the bench was broken in two, a tree had fallen onto it. "I guess the floor it is."

Bea chose a particularly grassy spot to sit down with her legs crossed, Bucky followed her but instead leant on the fallen tree trunk before opening up the bag and pulling out an apple.

"Do you still want to get a phone?" Bea asked out of nowhere as she tucked into her sandwich. "I was just wondering because we can order one online now that I have my computer back."

"I probably won't use it but sure." He bit into his apple, the small 'crunch' following with it.

"You don't have to get one if you don't want one."

"If it'll ease your mind I will and it'll ease my mind knowing I can contact you too." Bea wasn't sure what he meant by that. Unless he was concerned for her safety which knowing him he probably was. Especially since Hydra was still looking for him.

"I will be fine. Hydra has no idea where you are," she assured him as she brushed herself down, finishing the last bite of her sandwich. It was colder than yesterday, although the sun was still blazing down onto them through the cracks in the leaves. A small gust of wind blew. Bea pulled her hoodie closer to her. "So what film do you want to watch tonight? I was thinking Back To The Future, that's a good one."

"I don't think I should stay at your house tonight," Bucky said quietly. He put the finished apple core in a smaller plastic bag, tying up the ends to dispose of.

"What? Why?" she frowned.

"I just don't think I should be staying around yours any night from now on."

"I'm still not understanding why, Bucky. If it's the sofa we can always buy you a bed of your own. Or you can have my bed; I can sleep on the sofa."

"No, no, it's not that at all and that's your bed."

"Then what is it?" Bea thought back to the night before when she had fallen asleep on the couch. She wasn't sure what had gone wrong for Bucky to be so against sleeping in her apartment. Was it the mess of it? Well, she could always clear that up. Was it Luna? Luna could sleep in her room at night if _that_ what was bothering Bucky. It was no big deal.

Bucky's eyes shifted around from her to the floor. He kept opening his mouth to speak but promptly shutting it again.

She tried reassuring him with a small smile, "Bucky you can tell me?"

Bucky gave a nod to tell Bea that he knew he could.

"I get nightmares," Bucky admitted. "It started after the helicarrier crash and they get pretty violent and it's dangerous to be around me."

"Okay," Bea encouraged him to continue. "Didn't you sleep alright last night though? I was on the couch with you?"

Bucky sighed and Bea knew then that he hadn't slept a wink last night. She pulled a hand up to her mouth and gasped. "Shit, Bucky, you didn't sleep did you? I didn't know. I am so so sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep."

He quickly reached over and took her hand that was over her mouth and took it in his own. "No, no it's not your fault. I should have told you. I just don't want you getting hurt because of me. It's for the best if I leave."

"No," Bea snapped. "You are not leaving because of this."

"Bea-"

"Nope," She cut across, popping the p. "I'm not listening. For the future you'll take my bed, meaning if you do get a nightmare you won't harm me. I promise."

"No. if I _am_ staying I'll take the couch. That's your bed."

"So you're staying then?" Bea piped up.

"I said i_f_ I'm staying."

"_You're staying._" She resolved, her voice lowering an octave. "Promise me you'll stay?"

He looked down again and avoiding her eyes. He looked deep in thought but finally, he nodded. "I will but as long as you promise me that if you hear me have a nightmare you'll let me deal with it. Don't come near me. Promise?"

She didn't like that idea, no knowing if she'd be able to stay away knowing Bucky would be in agony in the next room but to settle the argument and for Bucky to remain living with her, Bea held up her pinkie finger to him. "Fine."

He looked from her to her pinkie in confusion.

"Oh, you're meant to take your pinkie and shake it. It's supposed to make your promises unbreakable."

"Yeah, I know. I just- I got a memory of Steve." Bucky's eyes lit up at the memory. Bea stared at him, waiting for him to continue. She liked hearing about the memories that Bucky got back as she got to see the happiness fill his features. "When we first met he was being beaten up by some school bullies in the yard. I think Steve was defending some girl after they didn't apologize to her, something like that. They didn't like that so started beating Steve up, all ganging upon him. I went in to stop it but afterwards, Steve made me promise that I wouldn't stop a fight for him again."

"Let me guess you didn't listen?" Bea smiled.

"Someone had to look after the kid, didn't they?" Bucky laughed at the fond memory, replaying it over and over again but his smile soon slipped off his face when the reality of his situation kicked in. They were no longer in 1930 and he and Steve were two completely different people. "I wish I could remember more."

"You will," Bea said. "We'll meet Peggy tomorrow, she'll probably bring back a few memories and then we'll go to the Smithsonian the next day if you want. There's literally a whole section about you."

Bucky nodded content with that. He still had no idea if he wanted to see Steve again and even if he did he wasn't sure how to get in contact with him. No, he would wait. He wasn't ready to face it all yet.


	8. Doughnuts

** Chapter 8: Doughnuts **

It was a small but wide building. The care home was placed on the outskirts of DC meaning a twenty-minute silent journey in the car where for most of it Bucky sat tapping his hand against his leg and looking outside of the window at passing traffic. Just seeing at how nervous he was made Bea's stomach bubble with butterflies.

"You don't have to go in you know," Beatrice told him as he stood outside staring at the building as if it was going to swallow him whole.

"We've come all this way now."

"It was only a twenty-minute journey. We can go back, it'll be no problem," she reasoned. She saw Bucky's hands curl up into fists in nerves, she readied herself to take out her car keys and prepare for a mad dash away from this place but Bucky's jaw locked and he nodded determinedly.

"Let's just go," he said. "Before I change my mind."

With a quick stride, he walked up the steps leading to the care home reception. Even from behind, Bea could see the inner battle he was facing of nerves, as he was tenser than usual. She had to run up to catch up with him as he took three steps at a time (and there were only a few steps and Bea was already out of breath when she reached the top). When she was side by side with him she slipped her hand into his.

"We do this together, okay?"

Bucky gave her a nod of assurance.

When inside she went straight for the main reception area. They had agreed on this in the car, Bucky might be recognized and even though he had his cap and face hidden mostly by his hair, it was still risky that one of the nurses might be a huge Captain America fan (especially if they were a nurse of Peggy Carter herself). Luckily, barely anyone recognized him as the Winter Soldier; most of the pictures released of him had goggles and a mouthpiece on that reminded Beatrice of a nuzzle you might put on a dog.

The receptionist was on the phone and Bea waited patiently, occasionally turning around to pull a face at Bucky who had taken a seat on one of the leather couches, searching and (to Bea's frustration) ruining the previously neat magazine pile as he searched for one. Although, how could she talk when her apartment was such a mess.

"Sorry about that," the receptionist said, as she put the phone down. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm here to see Margaret Carter." The receptionist nodded once and began looking around for something. After a few minutes of scuffling about, she handed over the desk a clipboard and bed.

"I just need you to sign in."

Bea nodded feeling a little nervous wondering what Bucky would put down. He couldn't very well put James Barnes. Although she doubted many people knew that name, he was more famous for as Bucky or the winter soldier.

Bea connected her pen to the paper when the receptionist gave an audible "Oh". She looked up, frowning. "I'm sorry but only family members are able to see Miss. Carter or anyone she specifically asked for."

Panicking Bea blurted out without thinking. "I'm f-family,"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Bucky look up at her in shock. Taking a breath she continued "I've just come over from Britain and wanted the chance to see her before I go back."

She thought her accent would at least help her case, she had read that Peggy was British too but the receptionist gave her a funny look but looked over at her computer nevertheless.

"What's your name?"

"Beatrice Carter." Bea tried hard to keep her voice from shaking. This was probably the most reckless thing she had done. _Was this even legal?_ She thought nervously.

"I'm sorry your name's not on the list," the receptionist said in an attempt to be sympathetic. Bea sighed, looking over at Bucky who seemed to not be listening to their conversation as he pulled his cap further over his head reading over a model magazine. He was either listening too intently to their conversation to realize what he was reading or really interested in model magazines.

"Look, can you go up and ask if she wants to see a James Barnes," Bea asked desperately, hoping she didn't know who James Barnes really was. "If she says no, we'll go. It's just really important we see her."

She looked slightly annoyed as she clucked her tongue at her, lifting an eyebrow.

"I'll go up and ask but she might not even remember who this Mr. Barnes is," she said before tucking a few documents under her arm and heading up to the stairway.

Bea watched her go. When she was out of earshot she turned to Bucky who was staring at her with a worried expression.

"You don't think she knows who I really am, does she?"

"She didn't seem like she did. I guess we'll just have to wait and see if Peggy knows who you are." Bea shrugged, plopping down into the seat next to Bucky. She laughed when she saw what page Bucky was on. It was a spread on the top fashion celebrities were wearing. "I didn't know you were so into fashion?"

Bucky looked confused for a minute before Bea pointed at the page. "Oh." He closed it, revealing on the cover a large picture of Tony Stark dressed in a smart tuxedo, holding up a peace sign to a crowd. It was an old issue before Stark had even come out as 'Iron Man'. "I was trying to look like I was doing something."

"I hope so unless you're really into dresses," Bea chuckled and held her hands up in defence. "No judgment from me."

Bucky sent her a glare but his face slowly transformed into worry. "What if Peggy says she doesn't want to see me? I'm not sure if I was even friends with her I just know I recognize her. I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't."

Bea shrugged nonchalantly. "We'll either leave and try another day with a different receptionist or… break into one of the upper rooms. I'm sure you could manage it."

"I didn't know you were so against the law?"

"Well, I guess I've been in denial all of these years." The image of her burgling a house popped into her head and she almost laughed out loud as she could imagine herself waking everyone up just by tripping and setting off some sort of alarm, knowing her luck. "Anyway, I guess I _am_ helping a wanted man," she gestured to Bucky. "I'm guessing that's illegal right? I was kinda hoping it was just frowned upon," she joked, nudging his shoulder to lift his mood. "You'll get to see her, don't worry so much."

"What do I even ask her when I do?"

"I dunno," Bea said, thinking. "Maybe just ask her if things you remember are true, you could ask about Steve. I know you're still unsure whether you can trust him and maybe she'll help. She might even jog some memories of your own." Bucky nodded but was still staring intently at the coffee table in front of them. Bea reached over and placed a hand on his gloved metal hand. "It'll be okay."

The receptionist appeared in the doorway again, gesturing towards the staircase she had just come from.

"She said to come right up."

Beatrice span around to face Bucky, shocked. In all honesty, she hadn't expected that to happen. She had all too prepared to start climbing the walls if she had too. Only to help Bucky. Seeing him clutching onto small memories was beginning to break her heart.

"Let's go then," _before he changes his mind _Bea thought, grinning when Bucky slipped his hand into hers as the climbed the stairs. She looked down at it with contentment, it suddenly felt like the most natural thing to do. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

They followed the receptionist to a room located near the end of the corridor. Just before they reached the room the receptionist turned around. "You know she was really surprised when I said your name, but very happy too. You've caught her on a good day. I don't think she'll have a memory relapse if you're lucky. If you need anything there's a buzzer to call us on the left of her bed."

The door was closed. Bucky was too focused on the door to bid goodbye to the receptionist so Bea gave a nod of her head in thanks.

"In you go then," Bea nudged his shoulder slightly to encourage him forward, even though it didn't make the slightest difference. If he didn't want to move there was no making him. This was entirely up to him.

Bucky took a deep breath and then took a step forward, turning the door handle.

When they entered the room Bea saw an old lady lying on a bed. Picture frames lined up along the walls, mostly in black and white. A pair of reading glasses and a book sat on the side table.

"I can barely believe my eyes," Peggy's smile widened. "I thought Steve's return was a miracle. I never in a million years thought this would happen."

Bucky slowly approached her. Bea noticed how stiff he looked as he took the main seat by her bed. Bea wasn't sure what to do feeling slightly out of place. There was a seat pushed up against the wall of the room but she still felt she was prying on a private moment.

"I'll just…" She pointed at the hallway, her hand still clasped around the door handle, preparing to turn. She saw Bucky's eyes turn to her, practically begging her not to leave him.

"No, stay." It was Peggy that said it.

"As long as you're sure," Bea said awkwardly skimming along to the chair in the corner hoping she was blending into the wall. In this room was an ex-assassin who was ninety years, the founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. ... _and her_.

"Do I spy an English accent?" Peggy watched her as she took a seat. Bea was taken aback, surprised the conversation had turned on her. She wanted to shrink into the chair, feeling intimidated. Not in a bad way, just in a '_You are a legend and I am just little old me'_ way.

"Uh, yeah," Bea said uncertainly. "I moved here about a year ago, wanting to actually do something with my life."

Peggy's eyes sparkled. "I moved here for the exact same reason."

"Yeah I heard you were pretty badass," Bea said, referring to the articles she had read up about last night. Bucky had fallen asleep pretty quickly after they got back from the park which was close enough to mid-day and fell asleep for the rest of the day and night. He deserved it. She felt terrible for keeping him up the night before. It gave her some free time as she spent most of it in the sanctuary of her room researching more into Captain America. If only she had done this much effort during her history classes at school maybe she would have done a little better.

"_Were _badass?" Peggy raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry," Bea smiled. "_Are_ and always will be badass."

Peggy tried to laugh as well but it ended up forming into a light cough. When she recovered she looked between Bucky and Bea a softness growing in her old eyes. "Seems we both ended up with our very own super soldier." She leaned in as if about to tell her a fantastic secret. "They're rather annoying aren't they?"

Bea gave a small chuckle. "Yeah, this one walked in at my store trying to steal some clothes. The night ended with us somehow eating pizza together."

"Sounds like quite the story," Peggy conversed. "Was this after the helicarrier crash?"

"You know who I am then?"

"Most of the world knows the Winter Soldier is no longer under the control of Hydra, just very few have made the connection to James Buchanan Barnes. But no, I know you as Steve Rogers' best friend. Bucky." With a struggle, Peggy managed to lean over and place her hand over Bucky's metal one. "And I am so sorry this happened to you. It's my fault; I gave Doctor Zola a second chance to work in S.H.I.E.L.D., if I had known Hydra had been growing within S.H.I.E.L.D. I would have put a stop to it instantly. If I had, you wouldn't have-"

"Turned into this monster."

"No," Peggy cut off, surprisingly sharply for an older lady. Bea liked this woman. There was a fire still burning in her eyes that she doubted would go away with age. "I don't see you trying to kill anyone in this room now," she reasoned. "You are no monster, Hydra were the ones controlling you. That was not your choice."

"That's only because I haven't had a relapse in a while. I used to have one every night, I would just forget who I am and-"

"Me too," Peggy said as if talking about the weather. Her tone wasn't bitter, however. "What stopped them?" she asked curiously.

Bucky paused. Slowly his head turned to face Bea. She was still trying to look like she wasn't paying attention to the conversation, feeling out of place. She saw his mouth opened but no words came out. Finally, he took a deep breath. "Bea, I guess."

Bea stared amazed. Her lungs seemed to lose all air before suddenly remembering to actually breathe. She wasn't sure what he meant by those words but knowing he had said her name in response to that question made her feel … well, she wasn't sure. All she knew was her stomach was doing somersaults and she had to clench up her hand and close it again to stop the tingles spreading up her arm. By then, Bucky had already turned away and was talking to Peggy again. There was a friendliness about them, although still a distance. She suspected the two weren't close friends but close acquaintances. She supposed being Captain America's girl she would have had to have at least known Bucky.

Bucky, too, seemed curious about their relationship when he asked, "Sorry, I don't really remember you much. I've been trying to remember things but some of it's not coming back. How did I know you?"

"Oh we only met the once or twice," Peggy told him, tapping her other hand over their already held ones before letting go. "All I know is Steve held you in high regard. You meant a lot to him and now I'm afraid I'll have to lecture you about not seeing him yourself yet."

He looked down guiltily, his fingers scratching at his jean pockets. "I'm just not sure who to trust," Bucky admitted.

"Steve comes and sees me sometimes," Peggy told him as a matter of fact. "The last few times he's been telling me how desperate he is to see you. He feels as if he failed you."

"I barely know him."

"And you barely know me, yet here you are," Peggy reminded him with a stern expression. Bea definitely liked her. She wasn't afraid to say how it is and was straight to the point. She could imagine a person such as Captain America needing a woman like her.

She started looking around all the pictures in the room. There was a cabinet in the corner where a row of them sat. A lot was of a boy and a girl, they aged in each picture taken. Presumably, they were her own children.

"All I'm saying is give him a chance. If there's anyone you can trust its Steve."

Bucky remained silent but he slightly nodded his head as if any stronger movement might sign him up for more commitment than giving Steve a chance. Bea knew it would still be a while before Bucky was prepared to actually try and get in contact with Steve but meeting Peggy had definitely helped.

"Thank you."

It called an ending to their meeting with Peggy. Bea rose from her chair and made to shake Peggy's hand. Her hand connected to her feeble one. She could feel every bone in her hand as she did.

"It was an honour meeting you, Miss Carter."

"You too, Bea."

Bucky and Bea exited the room hand in hand.

"See what wasn't so bad," Bea nudged him. He nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I suppose it wasn't."

"Did it help?"

"Not my memory. I still remember nothing new but it was nice to see a face I recognize."

They reached the reception doors again, the outside light blinding them. Bea had forgotten just how sunny it was. She noticed Bucky shifted uncomfortably, still wearing his jacket and glove as she took off her hoodie at the quickest moment she could.

"Aren't you hot wearing that?"

Bucky grimaced. "Yeah, but I don't exactly have any other choice but to wear it."

Bea frowned realizing how much Bucky must hate his metal arm. It was just a reminder of all he had done. To show it didn't bother her she linked her arm through his metal one, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm hungry."

"When are you not?" Bucky's face lightened.

"Hey!" she playfully slapped his chest. He only raised an eyebrow as if challenging him to prove her wrong. Who was she kidding? She was pretty much always hungry for food. But only the good stuff. "I saw a Krispy Kreme cart along the way to the car, want one?"

"I don't know what that is but sure."

"They're doughnuts and they're delicious."

The two hadn't really had time for breakfast. Bucky was too nervous and Bea was busy getting ready to see Peggy Carter. After all, she had run S.H.I.E.L.D. and was the former love interest of Captain America. She had to make a good first impression. By the time the two were ready, it was too late to eat anything, and it was well past lunch now. Although Bea was pretty much always hungry, as Bucky pointed out, she was starting to feel her stomach growl in delight at the talk of doughnuts.

They cut across the park to get to her car. There were quite a few people and Bucky kept his head down low.

"I don't think anyone will recognize you, you know?"

"I don't want to take the risk," Bucky said. She saw his face move up a little to catch sight of a security camera pointed at a bench beside them. "And I know they can detect my face on security cameras. You're not getting in trouble because of me."

Bea shrugged. She sometimes forgot that Bucky was running from the law and that helping him was also technically illegal. "I think it's a rather compelling reason to get into trouble if you ask me." Bucky looked up to glare at her. "I'm joking. Honestly, though, they won't notice you. They won't be looking for a guy walking casually around a park with a girl. It's the last place they'll think you'll be."

She brought their doughnuts which officially emptied her purse, there was now only a few cents in there that wouldn't do her much good considering her weekly shop was due soon.

She soon forgot all about her money issues when she took one bite of her doughnut, taking her time to savour each piece. Bucky, however, had finished his within seconds. They had gone back to the park and sat at a bench (one that didn't have a CCTV camera pointed at them).

"That was delicious," Bucky admitted licking his fingers; he had to take his right-hand glove off in order to eat the doughnut.

"Uh-huh," Beatrice hummed in agreement still enjoying her own.

Bucky reached over and put the rubbish in the bin. When he was back by her side he asked, "Are we going to the Smithsonian tomorrow?"

"Yup." Bea nodded excitedly. It was the first thing she had come to see when coming to live in Washington DC and it had been the first and only time she had seen it. She could hardly remember what was there. Although if she had been told a year ago when she went into the Captain America exhibition and was reading up about James Buchanan Barnes, that she would one day be a close friend to the guy, she would have called them loony. "I think it'll help you reconnect with your past self. There's a lot there about you with videos and pictures."

Bucky nodded. They settled into silence as Bea finished off the last bite of her doughnut. Whilst it had been delicious she was still hungry but she ignored it for now. She would make dinner as soon as they got in.

"Why were you so awkward in the room with Peggy?" Bucked blurted out, causing Bea to look at him frowning.

She groaned, "was it that obvious?"

"You practically squished yourself in the corner to hide."

"It was probably because I was in a room filled with the woman who started S.H.I.E.L.D and Captain America's best friend who is kind of superhuman. I kinda felt a bit insecure there, that's all"

Bucky frowned. "You don't usually feel like that around me, do you?"

"No, no," she assured him, realizing where his train of thought was leading and wanting to steer away from him thinking she wasn't comfortable around him because she was, "Of course not. It was just in the room with the two of you, I just realized how insignificant I am compared to you lot and felt out of place. It's no big deal." She had been mulling over this in the room with Peggy. She must be older than Peggy was when she moved to America and joined the SSR. Even by her young age, she had done incredible things already. Bea had done nothing of the sort and was living on minimum wage with growing debt and had done nothing impactful in her life. She was envious of them, which was ridiculous considering all the things they had been through.

She hadn't realized Bucky had taken hold off her hand until she felt his metal thumb caress her own.

"That's all?" Bucky raised an eyebrow in shock. "You're not insignificant."

Bea scoffed. "Come on, what exactly have I done that's significant in my life? I'm pretty much a failure If I'm honest and-"

"Not to me." Bucky cut across sharply.

This stunned Bea enough to stop her from arguing her case that she really was insignificant in the world. And that took a lot. To shut her up. And for once she wasn't really sure how to respond either, never having to deal with a compliment as big as this one that technically said; you are an important person to me.

She opened her mouth to respond. To say something, but not able to find the right words.

Without thinking, she reacted. She reached her hands out and grabbed his jacket and pulled it towards her so that their bodies were close to one another. Her heart pumping out of her chest. Her eyes slowly looking down at his lips. She was surprised to see Bucky moving in closer too but before their lips had a chance to connect Bea's brain caught up to speed and she pulled away.

She instantly let go of his jacket and jumped apart.

"Shit, sorry. I wasn't thinking." Bea coughed awkwardly, knowing her face had gone red with embarrassment. She tried to pull her brown curls around her face to hide her shame but there was only so much she could do with short hair reaching to her shoulders.

"it's fine," Bucky replied hurriedly, a stutter could be heard in his voice. Wondering what he was thinking, she almost bravely tried to assess his facial expression but her cheeks burned red and she couldn't possibly bare to face him ever again after almost kissing him.

She could have whacked herself over the head.

The guy had been tortured for the last seventy years and was only just free. The last thing he was thinking was starting up a romantic relationship.

_What was she thinking?_

"Let's just pretend that never happened." Beatrice shook her head, finding some sort of bravery to finally look up at him.

He looked just as flustered as she imagined her looking. It was probably due to how embarrassing she was.

She was an utter idiot.

"If that's what you want," Bucky responded.

"Yeah... yeah," Bea repeated. "I think it's for the best. Let's just get back to the car."

She hurriedly got up preparing to run all the way to the car, when she was a few paces ahead Bucky called her back.

"Your purse." He was holding her purse in his hand reaching out for her to take it. She took it from him, trying not to create any contact with him and blushed harder when their skin brushed one another.

_Why the hell did I do that_? She thought whilst internally cringing.


	9. Ice Cream

**Chapter 9: Ice Cream**

Bea barricaded herself in her room as soon as they entered the threshold of their apartment, without saying a single word to Buck. They had driven home in silence, eaten in silence, somehow chosen a movie to watch in silence, and mouthed a goodnight to each other in silence.

She was utterly mortified. In bed, every time she remembered the events of their almost kiss she would have to spin over, laying over her front so she could shove her face in her pillow to internally scream into. She couldn't believe she had royally screwed up a perfectly good growing friendship.

Somehow her thoughts turned to how it would have played out if she hadn't off pulled away. Half wondering if Bucky had wanted to continue.

_Had he?_ She thought curiously, he hadn't been pulling away. Although it was probably out of shock.

She finally felt herself slipping in and out of consciousness dreaming about what could have happened.

_*~It Started With Pizza~*_

Bea suddenly sat up. Her ears picking up at the sound of smashing from the other room. A groan, accompanied by the sound of shattering glass erupted from her living room.

It was dark and Bea flung her legs over the side of the bed, stepping on her phone that was on the floor charging. She must have somehow turned her phone on as light exploded in her face, causing Luna to hiss at the end of the bed.

Stroking her cat, she hummed, "_Shhh_, go back to sleep." Luna nuzzled against her, her eyes slowly squinting shut, "Bucky?" Bea called out when Luna had settled down again. "Are you alright out there?"

Tiredly she carried her legs to her bedroom door, her phone clutched in her hand as she tapped the flashlight option. Before opening the door she leant her ear against it, analysing any sound she could to see if she could guess how many there were behind the door. Her heart thumping for fear that Hydra had found them.

There were no footsteps, only groans of agony.

Panicking, Bea pulled the door open slightly, peering around the edge of her door to get a glimpse of what was happening. She could barely see anything so she brought her phone up.

On her couch was a silhouette. Bucky was withering around in his sleep, his head leant back as his teeth jittered together, echoing out a scream. Bea stared motionlessly.

"Bucky?" With her eyes wide she ran towards him, her arms spread out and the blood draining from her face. "Shit," she let out, abruptly stopping metres away from him, remembering her promise to Bucky about not going near him when he had a nightmare.

From the glint of her flashlight, she could see his metal arm. It was tense, curled up in a fist and was thrashing robotically about along with his body.

"BUCKY WAKE UP!" she cried desperately, wanting to look away. It was worse than she could ever have imagined. Bucky began hitting his head back and forth connecting with the arm of the couch. He wouldn't stop. "PLEASE WAKE UP! SHIT. _BUCKY_!"

She ran back into her room and snatched her pillows from the bed. Standing two metres away she began chucking them at him with as much force as she could muster. Bucky's arm swung hitting the pillow with a powerful strike. It flung across the room, hitting a lamp which fell straight from the cabinet and smashed to the floor.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Bea said, her voice cracking under the pressure. She was scared; scared for him and the pain he was seemingly in.

She looked around for something else to throw and found a few magazines and chucked them. Her aim was off and they landed, scattered four feet away from where Bucky's manic form was.

An idea sprung to mind as she ran into her bedroom and grabbed the water guns that she had stashed away at the bottom of her wardrobe. They hadn't come out since the first day she had moved to America. She finally found them hiding at the bottom of a box on top of the mountain of clothes and took one, running to the kitchen to fill it up with water. Bucky was still screaming as she readied herself to aim the gun at Bucky's face, her hands shaking as Bucky's nightmare seemed to get worse. He began choking on his own scream, struggling for air. If this didn't work Bea would _have_ to wake him up herself.

She clicked the trigger and water squirted everywhere, all over Bucky's face. He spluttered for a second but his arms lowered and his body became slack, relaxing.

"Bucky?" Bea stepped forward, cautiously. "Are you alright?"

"Bea?" Bucky sat up quickly analysing his surroundings. The coffee table was overturned with the glass in the middle of it scattered everywhere. The contents on the table were either ripped in pieces or thrown about the room somewhere. "Did I... Did I do this?"

Biting her lip, Bea instantly went to defend him. "You had a nightmare, it wasn't your fault. Next time I'll be sure to keep the water gun by my side so I can wake you up quick-"

"Bea." Bucky shakily stopped her talking. He was breathing heavily, having to clutch onto the air of the chair as he tried to get his breath back. She raised her hand to give herself more light. It was only then she saw the sweat trickling down his forehead and the bottom half of his t-shirt completely ripped in half. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you at risk like that." He leaned over the chair to grab his shoes that were laid carelessly about. "I shouldn't have stayed here."

Bea dropped the water gun and ran over to Bucky, her hands going to snatch his shoes away from him but Bucky had a death grip on them and no matter how hard she could have pulled there was no way she was getting them away from him.

She decided she would argue her case instead. It was what she was good at.

"You are not leaving me now." She pouted, sitting down next to him, careful to not step on any broken glass with her bare feet, "Don't even think about it."

"I'm just getting in the way and I'm dangerous," Bucky said, not looking at her, his eyes closing as if imagining something. "I don't know what I would have done if you had come near me, I could have killed you."

"Hey, _you_ said you would stay here as long as I never went near you if you had a nightmare," Bea explained, referring to the promise she made on Bucky's first night living with her. "And I didn't go near you. If you leave you'll be breaking that promise!"

"It's not that simple."

"It is if you _make_ it that simple." Bea crossed her arms stubbornly. "Anyway, you broke my lamp. You owe me." She pouted dramatically getting up and heading to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry for that and for your coffee table."

Bea waved her hand in the air as if brushing it aside. "Pfft, I hated that stupid coffee table anyway. It was always in the way, I kept banging my knee into it every time I stood up." A hand went to her leg as if there was a particular sore spot still there. "I'm kind of relieved if I'm honest."

From the kitchen, Bea could hear Bucky scrapping up the glass with his metal hand into a pile and then moving the wreck of her coffee table to the side. Bea appeared a second later with two tubs of ice cream in her hand and spoons. She had put slippers on her feet for fear of cutting herself on some broken glass.

"Okay, so I don't even like ice cream but its good comfort food so I keep a stash of it for situations like these." She handed a tub and spoon to Bucky who took it, confused. "Although I always imagined I would use it for a break-up or something, but since that's not going to happen anytime soon... why waste it?"

"You don't have to do this."

"Do what?" Beatrice raised an eyebrow, opening up her ice cream. She put her spoon down on her lap, excited to see they had the little brown wooden sticks inside instead.

"I've already ruined your life as it is."

"You didn't ruin my life." Bea frowned, trying to find the right words to explain to him just how much he meant to her. Even if it had only been a few short weeks since they had met. It was probably the best five weeks of her life. "You made it bearable if anything."

"You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me."

"_Yeah,_ I guess I do feel sorry for you but that's not the reason I'm saying that," Bea argued, "I'm telling you that because it's the truth. Now stop arguing with me and eat your ice cream. It's disgusting."

Bucky let out a breath of air, relaxing back down into his seat. "You don't like Ice cream?"

"I'm fussy." Bea shrugged, taking a bite of her ice cream anyway (the smallest bit she could manage onto her small wooden spoon) and chewing on it with a scowl written on her face. "I might gag," she warned, mimicking throwing up but going for another bite anyway as Bucky watched on amused.

"I like it," Bucky added as he opened his up own tub and put his whole spoon in, fishing out the largest bit he could.

"I guess they don't-"

"Call me the Winter Soldier for nothing?" Bucky finished, raising an eyebrow. His voice gurgling as he tried to swallow a mouthful of ice cream in one.

"H_ey_, how'd you know I was going to say that?"

"You're predictable." He laughed at Bea, who huffed like a child. "Ow…" Bucky groaned, suddenly raising a hand to his head. "Ow. Brain freeze. I forgot ice cream does that to you."

Bea choked on the small bit of ice cream in her mouth and had to clutch onto her sides to stop herself from laughing too hard. She couldn't help it. The scary Winter Soldier that was all over the news was suffering from _brain_ _freeze_. She laughed so hard that she almost fell off the couch onto the pile of glass, had Bucky not been quick enough to bring his metal arm up and catch her, his arm firmly held onto her waist as she still could not contain her laughter.

"Told you ice cream sucks."

"It's worth it though." Bucky laughed, letting go of her waist and going for another large chunk, even though he was still wincing at his headache. Bea instantly missed the feel of his hands around her waist and wished he would put them back.

Her thoughts drifted to the day before and once again her cheeks flamed up red and she felt the temperature in the room rise. She half wanted to go pick up her pillow that was now lying by the broken lamp and scream into it.

"Listen, about yesterday at the park…"

Bucky put his ice cream down and nodded looking her in the eye. "If you want to forget it happened, it's fine."

"Do _you_ want to forget it happened?"

Bucky's lips tilted upwards as he shrugged. "I've spent most of my life forgetting things. I don't want to forget again."

"Well, when you put it like that…" Bea smiled at the idea of Bucky not wanting to forget her. Even something as embarrassing as yesterday. She forced another spoonful of ice cream down thinking about how the tension between them had disappeared and Bea wondered if Bucky had even felt the previous awkward air at all.

"How do you manage to make me feel so normal?" Bucky asked suddenly, readjusting his position on the couch, so he was completely facing Bea who had her legs tucked up to her chest, resting against the chair's arm. "Even if the situation is completely crazy."

"I'm mundane like that. I make the craziest of situations feel boring," Bea said lightly.

A crease formed on his forehead, "I didn't mean it like that you know."

"I know." Bea smiled. "And you _are_ normal. You've just had crazy stuff happen to you. I get nightmares too sometimes." She leaned in with a serious expression as if about to tell a big secret. "When I was about nine or ten I had a dream once that I turned into a gingerbread man and the only way for me to go back human is if someone ate me." She pulled away laughing. "It was terrifying."

Bucky smiled. "You were a gingerbread man?"

"Well gingerbread woman if you want to get technical," Bea shrugged licking her spoon. "Do you think there was a secret message behind that dream?"

"Maybe… don't eat gingerbread men?" he suggested uncertainly.

"Nah I was most terrified when people were trying to eat me. I think it was telling me to stay away from cannibals," Bea deadpanned, before laughing along with Bucky as he started to throw his head back letting out a large chuckle. "_So_…" she said slowly, her smile falling from her face, "what was _your_ dream about? I don't know if it can beat my gingerbread one," she added sarcastically.

Bucky stopped laughing instantly and looked up, hesitant to answer, a cautious look in his eye. Despite this, he said, "Hydra. What else?"

"Was it about something they did to you?"

"The problem is, with them wiping my memory I forget the good stuff and the bad stuff, and sometimes the bad stuff is remembered as well as the good," Bucky admitted sadly. He had finished his ice cream and with a glum expression put the empty tub on the side. "Some things are better left forgotten."

Bea raised an eyebrow, passing her unfinished ice cream to him, which he accepted happily.

"I thought you said you didn't want to forget anymore." She said.

"I was talking about you," Bucky grinned. "Not about the bad stuff."

Bea scoffed but a soft warm feeling in her chest erupted at the idea of Bucky categorising her as part of the _'good stuff'_. "Is that your way of saying that the _incident_ yesterday wasn't the most embarrassing, awkward, cringe-worthy situation of your life? For which I am so so sorry for."

"I don't think I'd remember even if there was a more embarrassing moment," Bucky laughed.

"If you say so," Bea raised her eyebrow, kind of regretting mentioning it again. What happened to forgetting it ever happened? "So, are you going to tell me what happened in this nightmare of yours?"

Bucky winced and he put the tub down, suddenly not looking as interested in the vanilla ice cream.

"A mission. I remember them at odd periods."

"What mission was it?"

"I think it was 1988." Bucky narrowed his eyes trying to think of the date before he became fazed as if lost in the bitter memory. "I was assigned to kill ten S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. They were all hiding undercover and... and I found them... they didn't have time to call for back-up…"

"It wasn't you, Bucky," Bea reminded him, placing her hand on his. "It was Hydra, they had control over you."

"I still killed them." Bucky licked his lips avoiding eye contact with Bea. His eyes caught the pile of glass that he had made and reached down to finish cleaning it up. Bea went into the kitchen, picking up the dustpan and brush that was hidden under a pile of left out dishes.

She came back and scooped up the glass Bucky had collected together.

"Careful," Bucky said taking the dustpan from her. "There might still be glass on the floor."

Tiredly Bea wiped her eyes. "I'll clean it properly up tomorrow." She yawned. "Let's just relax, for now, let's talk about the good stuff you remember."

Bea heard Bucky sigh as he put the broken glass into the bin.

"Go back to bed, Bea, I'm keeping you awake." Bucky appeared in the kitchen doorway, rubbing his metal arm through his thick, long hair. "I'll finish cleaning this up." He gestured to the mess of a room. In fairness, it was already a mess before Bucky had smashed the place up.

Bea rolled her eyes. "If I go back to bed will you sleep?" She knew he wouldn't and the blank stare Bucky gave her answered that. "Then I won't sleep knowing you're not sleeping. So we'd both be awake in separate rooms, and then what's the point in that. Now, what can you remember that's good?"

Bucky fell down beside Bea on the couch, his metal arm exposed as it brushed up against Bea's, the cool metal sending tingles up her back at their touch. She ignored it and waited for Bucky to answer.

"I remembered someone else yesterday," Bucky said and Bea nodded, encouraging him on. "It's a girl… she looked just like my Mom. Rebecca, everyone called her, but I just called her Becky." He looked away down at the floor a distant smile on his face.

"She was your sister?" Bea asked, putting two and two together.

"I think so." Bucky narrowed his eyes, remembering. "Steve, Becky and I used to go dancing. Steve would always hide in the corner, never speaking to any girls, completely awkward and most of _my_ night was spent chasing creeps away from Becky, and she would always get angry at me saying she could do it herself." The happiness in his eyes faded. "She's probably dead now. It's probably for the best; she doesn't have to see what I've become."

Bea brought her hand up to catch his. "Hey, don't think like that. For all you know she lived a great life." She looked over at her laptop that was still on the table. "Do you want to find out? See what _did_ happen to her?"

"No. I don't want to know," Bucky said quickly. "If she didn't live a happy life then I don't want to know otherwise."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Bucky smiled glumly then finally looked up. "Let's talk about your family."

"Not much to say," Bea shrugged, sad at the change of topic. She liked listening to the stories Bucky remembered but understood why he had wanted to change topics abruptly. "I've got a brother and a sister, a mum and dad, aunts and uncles. We're just your average family. They're all in England, I don't really talk to them much if I'm honest."

"Why not?"

She scrunched her nose up, thinking about how to phrase it. "I think they think I'm actually doing something with my life in America, I know they'll be disappointed to find out I'm living on minimum wage and not really doing any better than I would if I hadn't moved away." She shrugged. "Every time I talk to them they always ask what I've been up too. I just don't want to disappoint them."

"I can't imagine you ever disappointing anyone, Bea," Bucky said softly.

Bea shrugged, wanting to change the subject, feeling sensitive on it. She felt bad for not calling her family. It had been months since she had had a proper conversation with her mother. The last time they had talked had been over Facebook private messenger and it had been a quick 'how are you' and 'I'm fine' and that had been weeks ago, before the helicarrier crash.

"Do you want to watch a film?" Bea asked quickly before Bucky asked any more questions about her life. "I was thinking the Wizard of Oz. We never got to watch it before."

It would be a film Bucky at least recognized, or it might jog some memories.

"It's up to you," Bucky shrugged, leaning back. Bea nodded and got up to set up the DVD player and slot in her copy of wizard of Oz which she had already out, preparing herself to watch it with Bucky.

When it began to play Bucky's screwed up his face in confusion.

"Have I watched this before?"

"Probably." Bea watched him carefully, happy to see a glint of recognition enter his eyes at the sight of the film. He said nothing more about recognizing it. She relaxed into the film. She was tired and wanted to go to sleep but knowing Bucky needed her now made her blink her eyes open to stay awake. She rested her head on his metal arm humming along to the movie's songs (well it became humming after she had been singing out loud and Bucky had started laughing).

She was glad the awkward tension from their almost kiss was pretty much gone now. Although she couldn't be sure if the situation would occur again. Bucky would just say some things sometimes that melted Bea's heart.

_He's your friend._ Bea reminded herself. They were friends. Good friends... somehow. She wouldn't ruin that friendship.


End file.
